There are a lot of complaints out there about false abuse claims. Have we delved into why there might be so many? Really delved. What if you tried to be fair in the beginning? What if you didn’t want to fight? What if you tried not to involve any of your private life and marital discord in the courts?
If you are being attacked and you don’t attack back, you get your children ripped from you. Once this happens, the attacking person who was probably attacking you in your marriage in private before, has found a new power to attack you with – the family law system. Now that they are empowered by the system the attacks get worse. Then that parent involves the children more and more until the fight becomes the children’s fight too.
All the things you called the other parent a liar for the children start doing. What if your children perceive that you are calling them a liar now? Now the children have adopted that parent’s beliefs and false claims and are repeating their claims and allegations. You called your ex a liar. Now the children want to know if you are calling them a liar too. They have adopted that other parent’s complaints and views, now what? How do you fight your ex now when she/he is shielded by the children? How do fight your ex now when the children consider every response from you an attack on them? The family law system actually counts on this dynamic. In fact, they encourage it and require it.
If the family courts did not entertain allegations of abuse, this dynamic couldn’t exist. When there is no benefit to the other parent or attorneys, this will stop.
Donald Tenn of Fathers 4 Justice says that abuse claims belong in criminal court where the court is equipped to adjudicate this properly. I quote his comments about this from his LinkedIn group, Father’s 4 Justice, posted three months ago:
“Donald Tenn • False Allegations:
Some states have enacted laws that clearly state false allegations of abuse are grounds for a transfer of guardianship. Unfortunately not many are aware of the law and of course enforcement is an entirely different matter.
Especially physical and sexual abuse where there is proof positive is a matter for the criminal courts and should only be brought up in family court after the perpetrator has been found guilty. As a court watcher I see these allegations come up in divorce court all too often. Why are we hearing those allegations in this environment? If it really did happen, do as I did, file a police report and demand that the prosecuting attorney prosecute the abuser.
Those who file these false allegations of abuse in a family court environment in order to control the proceedings or the children MUST be held accountable for their actions. I am slowly seeing the courts make the changes necessary but at what cost? A FATHER usually spends the first 18 months of his case defending himself against these false allegations. Then what? Parenting classes and a host of studies to slowly reunite the father with his own child? Knowledge is power, do not spend your time defending yourself for something you did not do.
Agreed, those who file these false allegations of abuse need to be held accountable. When we incarcerate those who file these false allegations, disbar the attorneys who encourage and coach and pull the funds of the non-profit DV organization, this will all come to an end.
Just two weeks ago a female friend who was court watching with us overheard an attorney telling his female client how to start compiling information for child sexual abuse charges against the father. The father was granted parenting time with his child and immediately thereafter the attorney was laying the groundwork for these false allegations. Disgusting, wish I would have gotten it on my camera. We have even had countless women step up and tell us the DV shelter coached them on how to proceed to keep the dad away from his own children…
Shame to any attorney and shelter who would ever knowingly work to separate any good, fit, willing parent from their children. May they all rot in hell, that is of course after I expose them for their actions before the entire world. Thanks and Peace”
You can connect with Donald Tenn on his websites at
In Stephen Baskerville’s book, Taken Into Custody, he names an attorney that told his mother, client, to get her husband to hit her! Every attorney that I have spoken to says that the court usually sides with the children. Most attorneys will tell the parent they represent to get the children on their side. What the parent does to do this is irrelevant in the eyes of the family courts and since most of them have no penalties or punishment for it, the false allegations run rampant and have become a part of the practice of family law for most attorneys.
In summary, to stop this abuse of the system, take away the ability for the family courts to use allegations making claims of abuse. Force anyone making claims of abuse to file these in criminal court. We agree with Donald, if these claims are real then they should be filed in criminal court. If they are not real then you have called that person’s bluff when they do not file them in criminal court. But at no time should the family court be hearing allegations of abuse. By forcing these allegations into criminal court, the accused and the accuser is protected, as well as the children. Criminal court is less likely to make a careless error in judgment or an inflammatory one like family court. Criminal courts are required to use due process and higher standards of evidence are applied. This process will protect the accused parent from suffering punishment in the form of having their rights to their children permanently deprived for false and unproven claims.
Criminal court also allows those falsely accused to press charges against an accuser if they made false claims and receive damages. By going through criminal court, you also ensure that if you get a conviction against a real abuser they cannot wiggle out of the charge with a claim that there was no due process.
Allowing abuse claims to be heard in family law courts is causing a lot of harm and damage to those falsely accused and their children. Allowing abuse claims to continue to be heard in family law courts also causes a lot of harm and damage to a child if they really are being abused when the family court gets it wrong. Family court should not be hearing abuse allegations or complaints until a parent has been convicted of those charges.
More attorneys should request that the court require the parent making the allegations to file the charges properly in criminal court by going through the proper agency. The judge might still proceed, but now you have made your request on the record. Our soon-to-be published book, “Not in the Child’s Best Interest” goes into more detail on the family law system and abuse allegations, and how to challenge the family law court’s status quo. Not challenging them has resulted in damage and destruction to families for generations. And they aren’t going to change until we make them.
This is worth repeating, “If the family courts did not entertain allegations of abuse, this dynamic couldn’t exist. When there is no benefit to the other parent or attorneys, false claims of abuse in family court will stop.”
We blog on child custody, parental alienation, and child abuse issues here http://fixfamilycourts.blogspot.com/ and have a forum for those that are having difficulty being heard here https://www.facebook.com/FixFamilyCourt . We will be elaborating even more on topics in our book as well as responding to questions that you have about the book by blogging on many of them here as well.
 Father’s 4 Justice LinkedIn group by Donald Tenn http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=2507726&item=ANET%3AS%3A198446761&trk=NUS_RITM-title
 Baskerville, Stephen, Taken Into Custody, Nashville, TN, 2007, print. http://www.amazon.com/Taken-Into-Custody-Against-Marriage/dp/1581825943/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366399554&sr=8-1&keywords=taken+into+custody