DAILY TOOL: How Parents Sabotage Themselves…

TOOL OF THE DAY: Wanting to Please and Sabotage

CATEGORY: Family Law

What’s the first thing you are told when you are going through divorce? Listen to your attorney and do exactly as they say.

Let’s review where attorneys are starting from.

1. Ask your attorney if they believe that the judge decides the best interest for your child if you end up in court in disagreement with the other parent.

2. Ask your attorney if you will be disadvantaged if you do not use the children for your side.

3. Ask your attorney what due process is used in your hearing.

4. Ask your attorney if strict scrutiny is use.

5. Ask your attorney if you have any parental rights. Ask what those are. And ask how the attorney plans to protect those rights.

Is your attorney expecting to show the judge that you are the better parent than the other one? What is the purpose of this?

Have you ever seen a trial over infringing on someone’s 1st amendment rights have to prove that they were a better person than the person complaining about them having those rights; or saying that they were not entitled to those rights, have to prove that the accuser was not as good as them to be able to keep their rights or to prevent having those rights infringed upon.

Probably not. But you see this every day in family disputes in family court don’t you.

The best way to stop this is to start using common sense. If what you are doing feels wrong, then you refuse to do it.

If you are having difficulty with the idea that the other parent is going to be an equal parent in the child’s life then seek assistance from a counselor who can help you cope with adjusting to changes and things that might be out of your control. That will be a better investment in you and your child.

How is that an investment in your child? Because your child will not have parents who suffer financial devastation just because they were not aware of the way the attorneys currently practice law in child custody suits. You will know that using the children and trying to build a case against the parent is futile and in fact creates a disadvantage for you if the judge sides against you.