Today I’m going to share with you my version of the family law business model and introduce you to a few simple ideas that will teach you how to save money and get on the right track for winning your freedom back, The things that I’m going to talk about today has literally saved lives, and all it might take in your case is a mindset shift to set things right again in your life. I know that when I understand the big picture it’s easier for me to figure out what I need to do to accomplish my goal.
I’m glad you are here with me today.
I’ll tell you what once I understood what was going on, the decisions that needed to be made were so much easier. Some people might think that this is just about narcissists and protective parents but its not, that’s just one piece of the puzzle, and may be an extremely significant piece for you. It certainly complicates things. The family court business model is actually so much more complicated than that. That is just one variation. But it’s really more like a recipe and its about how you combine the ingredients. Cooking is chemistry. If you have ever wondered how there can be so many variations and different results with so many cases that seem the same, I’m going to explain that to you and by the end of this video you will understand a few very basic things and some simple steps that you can take to simplify the process for you.
What will you understand by the end of this video,
. . . that you don’t have to be liked to keep your rights to your children, you don’t even have to please the judge,
. . . that you are the expert in your own life, you don’t need a bunch of hired experts to tell you how to live your life or raise your child
. . . you are the expert in your child’s life and you decide what is best for your child, and that no matter how much you try to do things their way it will never produce the results you want.
There is something that protects you and it is an often forgot about ingredient, it’s like leaving the flour out of your cake or cookies. We all know what happens then, it is flat and hard and not very digestible, and the rest of the ingredients just might not even hold together.
That’s the way family law is, it’s like a recipe and once you learn the right one to follow, your end result will be much better. Picture it this way, if you want to make gumbo etouffee you need all of the right ingredients to get that back home flavor just right. You know the taste and smell you remember from when you were a child. But in order to make this recipe you have to buy the ingredients. So you might call Mom or Grandma to get that secret family recipe and how to combine those ingredients.
So picture family law like a supermarket where you are going to choose the ingredients to put into your pot. Whether you are making a cake or gumbo, you will have to buy those ingredients. This means you also have to be able to afford to pay for each of those ingredients. But maybe you’re not a cook at all so instead you look for someone to make it for you, you might buy your cake or gumbo from a local restaurant or a supermarket. You pay a premium for those ingredients now don’t you, to have someone else do it for you.
Family law is a lot like that. Someone else is choosing the ingredients. So you and your ex each have a pot and your attorneys are choosing the ingredients that go into that pot, or limiting your choices for what ingredients you can put in there. The problem is they are all leaving out the flour, so regardless of whether you are baking a cake or gumbo you are not going to end up with that as your end result.
Your ex has a cook, you have a cook, and the judge is the chief chef. We all know what happens when you have too many cooks in the kitchen you end up with a disaster. And disasters are very expensive to clean up.
It’s very empowering and liberating once you realize what is happening. Once you realize that it’s not your fault, once you realize what’s happening, and once you realize that the courts have a business model that thrives on two parents who are willing to let someone else do the shopping and the cooking, you can start to make your life better and change your result, and win child custody a better way. And if you are an advocate helping parents you will learn how to change the family court system. But to do this you need a plan, a system, and education.
First let me tell you a little bit about who I am. I’m Sherry Palmer, my husband and I started Fix Family Courts and published the books NOT in the Child’s Best Interest, Protecting Parent Child Bonds, and Oath Breakers. We have helped parents get out of jail, protect their children, fight injustice, write legislative bills and educate their attorneys so they can fix the family court system. We travel all over the United States to help parents just like you. We teach you how to identify the ingredients necessary in your case, conserve your resources, spend less money, and achieve a better result, ultimately both you and your ex can win child custody. I’m going to tell you how simple it is in a few minutes.
Family Law Business Model
By now, you know that it is TRUE, that the family courts take two parents who have successful careers, are healthy, and are thriving, and make them broke and sick. I’ve known family law attorneys quit practicing law after they went through divorce themselves. The stress is that intense. And the length of time that the stress lasts, creates the perfect conditions for PTSD and depression. I had attorneys tell me that judges know that in divorce they are seeing good people at their worst. What they don’t tell you is that it’s the attorneys perpetuating a destructive family law process that is making the parents act this way. It doesn’t take them long before they tear you down to fit their ideas and their beliefs. After that first hearing you start losing sleep wondering what else you can do, what else will happen, or can happen, dreading the coming of the next day, hoping if you don’t go to sleep maybe tomorrow won’t come and you won’t get a new email saying you are being summoned to court again for something else, a new allegation, a new discovery request, or something your attorney forgot to tell you or do.
What triggers might you experience from the stress of family law?
Some parents have told me that they get triggered when the doorbell rings or when they receive mail. They are worried that it is another filing, another hearing. My trigger was going to the movies and seeing people in the movies enjoying their children. I couldn’t watch movies anymore or get that much needed brain break that I needed raising four children, and a step child.
How much does a child custody case cost with high conflict parents?
You keep waiting for the tide to turn and for things to get better. But after about 6-12 months of losing sleep and not being able to eat, you start taking anxiety meds, and getting depressed. You’re wondering how you’re going to keep paying at this pace, and if it will ever end. They have you stressed out of your mind and straining your resources to the breaking point. You are probably paying the majority of the bills to maintain the marital lifestyle, while also trying to maintain the constant request for more money from your attorney, the guardian ad litem, a counselor, and being told you are going to need other experts like a parental alienation expert, possibly a child custody eval, psych evals, and the list goes on and on. You have people from all different angles investigating every nook and cranny of your life. Ron calls the GALs “attorney welfare.” We won’t get into that today but more on the GAL in an upcoming webinar.
How did my case get so out of control?
Let me show you what is happening here.
There is an entire list of state actors who are waiting to get their hands on your money. Picture it this way. You are now walking down that supermarket aisle choosing your ingredients except that instead of having brand labels, these people wear suits and ties, lab jackets, or robes. They are all waiting for their paychecks from you. Whose in this line, your attorney, the guardian ad litems, amicus, parent facilitators, psychologists, counselors, court reporters, court clerks, court coordinators, mediators, judges, social workers, CPS, police, attorney generals are all getting paid thanks to you!
They just pass you down the line until your pockets are empty – I guess you could look at it as a form of income redistribution. The cost is unlimited and not predictable.
The Family Court Recipe.
So let’s go over how all of this started in the first place.
There is a recipe they use. And which recipe that is used depends on you. You may not have known this. And that doesn’t mean you should start blaming yourself, for god’s sake, even corporate attorneys are taken by surprise by the way family law is practiced. But don’t worry about that right now, we specialize in helping you figure out the ingredients that are right for you, that will get you the results you want.
You went to an attorney and you told them that you needed help either to get a divorce or to respond to being served with divorce papers. You told them that you loved your children and that you just wanted to make sure that your ex couldn’t follow through with taking your children away. This attorney tells you it’s simple you just have to ask the judge for custody, but first you need to pay them a big fat retainer and do exactly what they tell you to do. Your ex also visits an attorney. The attorney says that they will take care of you, tells you what you want to hear (they commiserate with you and agree with whatever you tell them your pain points are with that other parent. you might tell them that the other parent has been too strict with the children and that you aren’t able to exercise your parenting style with that parent and in order to have a relationship with your children you really need to separate, or you might not want to be with them anymore because they cheated on you. Whatever your complaint is about that other parent, the attorney will mirror your complaint back to you and become that support system and person that you may have been craving. Wow, you have someone who agrees with you and is going to protect you and your children and you are going to be able to do all of those things that you haven’t been able to do in life without all of the constant drama and stress.) Your attorney might even tell you that your ex is more horrible than you even thought they were like mind did. When I took them some of the emails from my ex, the attorneys would always say wow and how abusive and horrible he was. They always said they would help me win. That all I had to do is pay a big fat retainer and do exactly as they say. You trust them. They assure you that they have many years experience and know exactly what you need. You are never told how much this will ultimately cost and you are never told the plan, you’re never given a copy of their business model. Check all throughout the United States, Attorneys do this same thing to everybody, everywhere whether you are a movie star, a corporate attorney, a restaurant owner, or technology consultant. They don’t differentiate. In that regard it is equal opportunity, for them. They never brought a contract out with all of the people that you were going to employ. You were never asked if you could afford to do it this way or told that there was any other way.
Do Attorneys Charge More if my ex is a Narcissist?
And if you say you are dealing with a narcissist, bipolar, or any other personality disordered person, their retainer goes up. Why is that? They know those personality types are going to create a lot of work and they are going to have to be on their toes. You are in a panic because you know your relationships with your children are changing, and you want the attorney to make it stop right away. The attorneys know that this is going to get complicated, and complicated is expensive. There is a better way. You can get through this, I did. Mine was a pathological liar. Either way they both created chaos and expense. They know that the narc is going to stress you out and they are going to be responding to a lot of panic from you. People with these types of mental health issues can become dysregulated very quickly, and do not have boundaries. That’s true. But it might be a harm that you aren’t going to be able to do anything about and the more you try to stop it, the more time they take away from you. They will harm the children without a second thought and act like they are protecting the children from you. They will typically keep spending because they thrive on having power over you. The more you react and respond, the more worth it for them. Their goal is to keep you under their control. They are control driven. Many of them are extremely successful and well liked. You will find that many of your top executives will have narcissistic traits and behaviors because these behaviors actually benefit them in business. They continue to act this way because it benefits them. They will typically get the upper-hand early on, but you can turn that around if you know how. We will get to that a little later.
After that first temporary orders hearing where they make you an every other weekend parent, or as some say a “Happy Meal Plan” or “Disneyland Dad” parent, you get mad that this is happening to you, you get mad at the other parent. You are hurt and you are desperate to get things to change, go back to having the time you had with your children before. You cannot believe that the other parent is doing this, would do this, or that a judge would buy into it, and go along with the other parent like this. You get mad and suggest that the other parent has mental health issues. The attorney then runs with that. That’s their cue to further take advantage of you and your pain, and they start suggesting that you need to employ some additional people and get psych evals and custody evals.
Your ex becomes emboldened, retaliates, things get worse, and requests supervised visitation or even starts making allegations of child abuse. They might say that you have touched the children inappropriately or that one of your friends, lover, or other relatives have done something to the children. Beware if you get into a new relationship with someone who also has children. They will accuse the stepchildren if they think that will help them learn. Your life becomes a way to get revenge and the attorneys eat that up. They are more than happy to oblige as long as you can pay them money. This is how they keep the two of you in conflict. Parents in conflict make everyone in the system a lot of money. They stroke egos and provide false hope. They make promises of control and management, skills a narc has used throughout their successful business career. They keep spending money to keep getting more and more power and control. You keep spending money to try and prove that you are worthy and the better parent. They have you focused on the wrong thing. More on that later.
All you know is that you are without your child and you are willing to spend what it takes to bring your child back home.
One mom puts it perfectly, she said that “. . . what happens is as victims we start spending money also to get back into the court’s good graces. So if we lose temporary custody of our kids. Maybe you’re reduced to every other weekend like me you’re going to end up spending money to get back into the court’s good graces. You’re going to get a therapist for your child because I think if what I’m saying isn’t enough let me hire a therapist in where a therapist can say that my child should be around me. Let me hire a psychological evaluator to examine me and then that person can tell the court that I’m not crazy that I’m a normal person. Let me get a GAL so the GAL can measure my backyard and look into my life and say that I’m a good person.”
How many of you here have done this? Did you ask for a GAL, an amicus, for a parenting coordinator, counseling, reunification therapy, spend tons of money just to have the therapist side with you, but the court ignore the GAL report, and ignore any of your witnesses.
What kind of reasons can Be Used to Take my Child from me in Divorce?
They will come up with the most absurd reasons to take your children. Most of you may understand now how absurd they can get and never would have believed it if it hadn’t happened to you. Think about trying to explain to someone that you lost your kids because someone else in your family has an illness, who doesn’t even live with you and may be in a totally different state, or because your ancestors from generations ago were massacred, or because you took your child to the doctor! The people you tell, your friends, they either don’t believe you or think that you are making it up or covering up the real reason a judge would take your children. So you stop telling people because they start avoiding you, even family members cannot take the constant barrage of focus on what the courts are doing to you.
😥 If this has happened to you please comment below.
You were sold a Lie.
Well guess what, the BIG LIE is that they’ve sold to you and you bought up until now. They made you think that you had to be liked by all of those people, the GAL, the judge, the counselors, and that you had to bring people in to testify that others like your parenting style, that you are liked by your relatives, that you have good relationships with relatives and others. What if I told you that your rights do not require you to be liked and that it’s the state imposing this on you to put you in that victim state so that you will overlook the rights that protect you from this. Your attorney is going to ty and discourage you from doing anything different, from using these steps that I’m going to tell you about, because they don’t require you to spend money on them and their buddies. Instead they empower you and liberate you from letting them play you like a slot machine.
How can I get the Judge to Like Me?
✔YOU don’t have to be liked
✔YOU don’t have to be without flaws. Narcissist, people with depression, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, diabetes, heart failure, who are stubborn, bullheaded, and make mistakes have their children.
✔YOU don’t even have to be a good person. Bad people vote, own houses, and become parents.
Are you Blaming Yourself?
There are people losing their children believing that it is their fault, believing that if they had just gotten better grades, worked more or less, if they had bought that other house a little closer to the other parent, or if they had just chosen the other house with the bigger bedrooms, then they would have their children. They think this because the court puts these down as factors that they evaluated to decide who was going to get to keep the children. Best interest of the child is how they label all of their reasons. This is just a cover and a way to avoid applying your rights. Only without your rights can they apply this kind of broad discretion.
Are you Chasing the Rabbit?
You get a list of reasons why the judge decided the other parent would be primary and now you might only get every other weekend with your children. You probably went over the reasons again and again, and then started making changes in your life believing that if you just correct the reasons the judge gave, get a different house, a better job with more flexible hours, stop traveling so much, and get married so you appear more stable, or you might be told to dump that boyfriend like I was so that your ex isn’t irritated. You do these things believing you will get your child back. This lie consumes you and you end up in a death spiral that kills your career and your life. Some parents sadly end their life because they just cannot bare it anymore. If you ever, ever feel this way, there is a hotline you can call.
There are doctors and lawyers losing their children, even family law attorneys losing their children. So you should’t feel like it is your fault.
How long has this been going on?
For hundreds of years actually. Federal and state governments took Native American children from their parents and placed them in institutions or with white families in an effort to make those children who they wanted them to be. Force them to cover up who they are. One Native American woman said she and her baby sister sat in a tub of bleach to convince themselves they were getting more white so that they would be liked by the whites.
This practice and policy left many of those children psychologically battered for the rest of their lives. This is what they are doing now. This has been a massive failed social experiment. They make you think that it is your fault that you cannot get along with your ex. Really they are pissed that you won’t just give in and agree with whatever your ex says to do so they can just order therapy for your entire family and child support so that they get their bonus from the federal government Title IV-D program. If you had just given in though you probably wouldn’t get to see your children at all, or you would have just stayed in the relationship and just be continuing to live an unhappy and suffocated life like those Indian children.
The reasoning back then for removing children and separating them from their family was racism. Children are still removed, the judges just make up different reasons for stealing your children, you got remarried and there were too many children in the home, you don’t work enough hours, you work too many hours, your schedule isn’t flexible enough, you wouldn’t agree with the other parent that your child needed counseling, and the lists go on.
How Do I Break Free from the Victim Role?
Once you realize the state is not going to rush in and protect you will you stop being their victim. Once you realize your rights are what provide protection and relief from abuse. Once you realize your rights protect you from these ongoing escalating costss, you’ll start saving money. I’ll give you an example of how it feels once you know what to call the problem. I didn’t know what parental alienation was when the relationship with me and my children starting rapidly changing and they became very negative towards me. Once I discovered parental alienation I felt overwhelming relief and I knew what to look up and study. I saved a ton of money not needing experts to testify. I hired Dr. Bone to teach my attorney what parental alienation was. That helped me plan my strategy. I stopped being dependent on attorneys and I started saving a lot of money.
👻I remember how scary it was the first time I decided that I was going to stand up to the judge and my exes attorney. Before court started I told him that it didn’t matter whether he liked me, my ex liked me, or the judge, that my rights were not tied to who liked or didn’t like me. That was very liberating and transforming. After that, it got easier to stand up to the judge and his attorney. After that point, they realized I was no longer an easy mark. Things got harder for them and they stopped making money off of me. In fact, my ex started losing money and so did his attorney. He had to hire three attorneys just to keep up with me. Oh they all tried everything to scare me and give in. Funny thing is when you learn how to do this, you realize that it was the going along to get along that was actually giving them more power and making you more miserable.
My exes attorney was appalled that I would not stop asking for my children to be brought home from my ex who had absconded with them to another state. The attorney acted disgusted. I decided it was an insult to my fabric to not stand up for what I believed and to fight for my children when I knew they had no proper justification for taking them. When he asked who I thought I was I told him that I was their mother. Jaws dropped in the audience, they thought that I was an attorney. Everyone in that courtroom that day learned that parents have a voice too and that they didn’t have to tolerate being told that they had to be liked or couldn’t do anything that the opposing counsel or judge didn’t like. That day they didn’t like that I wouldn’t stop demanding that they bring my children home and restore my equal time with them.
Co-Dependency and the Rabbit Hole.
They preferred that I work within the system and pay to get my children on my side and do things their way, so that I would spend money on their buddies and have a co-dependent relationship with them. They want you to start changing your rules and parent differently so that your children don’t recognize you. They want you to do things that are foreign to you so that you are upset and your children upset and you and the children need therapists to calm you all down. One judge ordered a mother to not speak Spanish in her own home to her 5-year-old daughter because the social workers didn’t know Spanish and wouldn’t be able to communicate with the child! They start requiring you to run to a therapist with every little complaint or discomfort your children or your ex has. Your children lose that much needed authority in their life. You lose your parental identity, the children are off balance because you’ve had to change so much about yourself. The children start to act out and test their boundaries, throw fits, and say they will just tell the judge if you won’t give them something they want. You panic and worry that if you don’t get them more therapy their behavior is going to be used against you. You are told that the conflict is affecting them and made to feel guilty but do not know how to stop being dependent on the courts for more and more orders – order reunification therapy, order co—parenting classes, orders all the way down to what times each of you can and cannot talk with the children on the phone, and when you cannot get that phone call, you need to ask for more orders to tell the other parent you get the phone calls that were already ordered! Do you see how they keep you in that cycle of dependency on spending money on them to ask for orders that make your life miserable and dysfunctional.. You start to blame yourself for the stress your children are going through. You start hiring more counselors and experts. You get more anxious and more urgency sets in to resolve this conflict sooner to get your children out of this vice grip of the ex. When really you are the one in the grips of the court.
You’ve done everything they’ve told you to do and you still don’t have your children!
You are told not to involve the children or upset them but to get an attorney to represent the children so that their wishes can be heard. And then they involve the children and blame you.
You change the hours you work, the job you do, the house you live in, all so you can impress these experts and satisfy them.
How is that working for you? It doesn’t satisfy them does it. They keep moving that goal post to keep you spending money.
Before you know it you don’t even recognize yourself. I didn’t realize it until one day my children said “mommy, why are you so different?” I had become a stranger to my own children trying to do things their way.
I had one parent tell me this week that she thought that the courts would just uphold her rights and wouldn’t allow the other parent to ask for anything that violated them until she got our book.
She said that it wasn’t until she found our book that she was informed that this was not the case, so she prepared. She prevailed in getting a gag order overturned because she knew her rights.
We are all taught growing up to respect authority, so you just didn’t question your attorney. You were taught to trust them if they worked for a court, if they have a suit and tie or a robe, or letters behind their name, you automatically think they know what they are doing. You believe all of these people because they are the experts right. They have the degrees. You believe they know what they are doing so you let them start taking over the decisions in your life and your children’s lives. They get to decide now whether your child should take ballet or martial arts. And you get to pay them to do this!
What is the Problem here?
✔You STOP being the expert in your own life.
✔You STOP being the expert in your children’s lives
What You Need to Know Before you Ask for a GAL?
You stopped trusting your yourself, your decisions, and your instincts.
You believe that these experts are required so that you could prove to the court that you are good enough to be around your children. You were never told that the real purpose of the Guardian ad Litem or GAL was to try and find things wrong with you, or things they just don’t like, things to use against you, to investigate you. You never knew they might make the situation worse. You thought they were going to help you and then they turn on you and you are paying for that too! Or you end up in one of the rabbit holes where like many parents now you are dependent on the GAL for your parenting time. You end up paying them to graduate you into having a little more time with your children — time you probably lost because off their testimony about you previously in the first place. They become the gatekeeper between you and your children. They become very expensive. They become part of the. problem.
Have you had a bad GAL experience? Type a comment below or just yes below.
In Ohio they have a doozy of a GAL statute. You cannot deny them anything. They can do and investigate what ever they want, interview anyone they want, ask for anything they want, and you are required to sign the consents. Specifically one order says that upon presentation of a copy of this order to any agency, hospital, organization, school, person, or office including but not limited to, the clerk of this Court, human services agencies, public children’s services agencies, private child placing agencies, pediatricians, psychiatrists . . . the Guardian Ad Litem shall be permitted to inspect and copy any records relating to the children without the consent of the children or parent.” And “that the Attorney Guardian Ad Litem shall have the authority to interview the children outside the presence of any counselor, caretaker, school official custodian or any individual who has physical custody of the children without the knowledge or consent of the children’s parents. And the GAL fees are treated like child support. So you can go to jail not able to pay
The judge will spend your money any way he chooses. The judge will spend money you don’t have and create debts for you. Nowhere else in life would you be allowed to run up a debt the way these family courts will run up bills for you, and then put you in jail when you cannot pay!
Once you understand this model, you realize this, you can stop the bleeding, and that you werelied to. You will understand that they get you to ask for these things because they make money on these requests. so the more help you need the more they make. You will learn how to flip the tables on them where they are paying more and you are not. Now they will have to hire experts to try and counter and justify what they are doing. You no longer are the profitable slot machine who can be played. You no longer employ their minions or fund their racket. Now they have to pay to respond to the violation of your rights.
I have another mom who said that when she learned her rights from our book that she was able to successfully do her own appeal pro se and she won. And that was before we had online courses available, just think how much more help and information you have to help you now that we didn’t have!
It’s less scary and you will feel better. Ask all of these parents. And once you do this you will never go back to letting them abuse you. Transformation is a one way valve.
How can I Turn my Child Custody Case Around?
When I went through this there was pretty much no one out there other than some father’s rights groups, no one helping moms that’s for sure. Nobody was teaching how to integrate the constitution into family law that we could find. We didn’t have google groups, Facebook threads, or the diversity of groups helping. Parental alienation wasn’t as visible as it is now either. In fact, bringing it up was discouraged. Talking about your case in public was discouraged and punished. Parents still go to jail for doing this, but they get out of jail and they get acquitted by juries. Organizing with others was punished. You couldn’t even talk negatively about “best interest of the child,” you would be villanized and treated like you wanted to abuse your children if you didn’t give in to the idea that a court expert and a judge was more protective than you and questioning it made you abusive. Experts are speaking out against best interest of the child policies now. This has changed because of parents just like you who learned their rights and refuse to give in and accept the slot machine business model.
This entire business model in these family courts is a violation of your constitutional rights. It’s plain and simple. Once you realize that you need to get educated on your rights. It is liberating and empowering. Once you stop listening to the lies in family court and from attorneys that your rights don’t apply. You will never ever go back to being a victim again no matter how much they beat on you or try to punish you, you know that you have the power to resist all of their lies and character assassinations. You know now that these were just desperate attempts to get you to stay in the dark so that they could steal your money and your child and wouldn’t have to actually answer to their actions.
Learning Your Rights Improves Your Health
Once you start learning your rights, your health starts to improve just like mine did when I didn’t feel powerless or hopeless anymore. You have to learn rights first though before you can know how to use them. You won’t get the benefit of your rights without using them unfortunately.
I had one mom tell me that she thought she would just be one big happily divorced family. And another mother that I told you about earlier who thought the court was going to honor their oath and protect her from any interference with her fundamental parental rights.
Most of the parents don’t find us until after their child is taken and they are devastated and broken, their health is suffering, they are depressed, and desperate. They have been taken advantage of by every expert and attorney the court thought they could afford and squeeze every penny out of them.
So they come to us when they cannot afford an attorney anymore and they want the ex punished and they want their child back. Some of you haven’t seen your children for several years. Once you get into the courses and you realize the rights that weren’t protected, you go through shock again and then anger at the attorney who didn’t protect you. We help you focus on what will be most productive and
It is extremely rare that any parent after losing their child in the first round get their child back just doing it the traditional way that has been done for at least the last two generations. But you go back to modify with the belief that if you just prove that somehow the judge made a mistake choosing the other parent, you think that the judge is going to be more persuaded because of all those things you changed, your house, your job, and maybe you even got married so the judge will see you as more stable. Now that you have changed all of the things the judge wrote he didn’t like before you will get your child back.
Again you spend money with experts to get the judge to like you. You believe that you have to be liked to have your child. So you are going to spend money again to validate who you are as a person as a parent. That’s what you did the first time but you do it again because you don’t know of a better way.
🤦♀️“We get positioned into the victim state, we are no longer the expert of our own children, we are no longer the expert of our own lives. Our lives are being taken over by outside sources that we have no control over.” So very true Monica Szymonik. And where did she start her journey, she started with us a long time back. Now she has been able to build her life back up, she has two beautiful children and a husband and she is the founder of Moms Unshackled.
What you have been doing hasn’t been working for you and you’ve decided “That victim identity is no longer serving you.” The system that we have developed will help you fight to take back your identity and be that strong parent.
You can be that parent just like Monica who says, “That victim identity is no longer serving me I’m now going to take back my identity and be a strong parent. . . . I’m making my position known. I’m repositioning myself as a strong person in my own life. I am the expert of my own life. I am the expert of my children’s lives.” She can help you build up that courage to use our system, if you are not quite there yet.
If you are already there and just need the education and the plan now, then welcome.
Some moms and some dads have to leave their spouse because they are suffering verbal and maybe even physical abuse. Sometimes they have to leave their children. There is one mom who had used against her that she left abuse in a prior relationship and even though there is no abuse in her current one, the fact that she was abused by someone previously was used against her.
I have another mom who told me that she learned that you set an example for your children when you are strong, refuse to be bullied, and learn how to stand up for yourself.
And so what I do is help parents follow the system and plan that we have developed, where you decide the recipe that works for you, and learn to adapt it to fit your needs and be more effective. Understanding what is happening and understanding the family court process puts you in the right mindset needed for standing up for your rights in the family court. Our system helps you fight more effectively for your children.
If you’re being treated like a second-class citizen or you want to prevent it and don’t want to become one of those 22 million parents being erased and alienated from their true identity, you’re in the right place. If you’ve already been made non-primary or are joint but it only means joint on paper, and you are still being abused by the other parent and the orders are making it worse, you’ve joined the over 22 million adults who’re oppressed. Every oppressed people have needed a plan, a system, and an education. Thomas Paine educated the masses with one little pamphlet. People learned how to impeach the King and remove him from being the decisionmaker in their lives. They used education and the Declaration of Independence to do it.
What’s in our System?
Figuring out your ingredients and what recipes are available to you. Courses to teach you how to organize, make sense of the confusion, calm the chaos, use your rights to restore your parental identity, parental authority, your right to be your own expert. Webinars that give you plans and steps. Workbooks and guides to help you teach your attorney, and teach others to do the same for themselves.
Part of our system is teaching you how to organize your case so you can continue to live a life of your choosing. You will learn how to manage both. The skills you learn in our system you can carry into other areas of your life, your business, your practice, your every day family life.
The other part of our system is learning that you have rights and how they work, how you protect that you get to choose what kind of relationship you want to have with the other parent not the judge, protect your choice not to co-parent but to parallel parent, how to protect that you get to choose what is best for your child not a GAL, not a counselor, not the judge, and that you get to choose how you spend your money, not be forced to give it away to the other parent, to other experts not of your choosing.
Then you also learn how to manage power and abuse of power. You learn strategies and plans that are designed to help you stop being abused, learn how to craft orders that are livable, how to maximize your use of mediation, overcome objections, what works and doesn’t work, appeal arguments, and more. Our courses teach you how to be effective, and accomplish your goals, so you can live free and live your dreams again.
You will realize that:
You are the expert of your life and your case.
You choose what kind of relationship you want or don’t want to have with the other parent.
You choose how you want to raise your child.
You choose how you spend your money!
Your parental identity will be restored. You can be you and not fear their punishments for it.
This journey starts with you the individual who is going through this right now. The success of all of this starts with you. One of our students said that as soon as she learned how the family court business model worked she immediately started to heal, she stopped dumping thousands of dollars into the system, and became her own expert. You guessed it that was Monica! This all started with our system. She was able to stand up to the courtroom bullies, become healthier, and fight more effectively once she learned about the rights that she hope had and had the right tools. Once she learned that it was okay to be herself, and that they were wrong not her, she was able to take that first step.
All of these parents learned that they are their own expert.
They all learned that they didn’t have to be liked by the judge.
They learned that they didn’t have to spend all that money to be heard in court.
We hope that you will be the next parent to take these steps.
Click below to start empowering yourself and learn how to use your rights today.
Whether you are a parent just wanting to be more effective or an advocate who is helping other parents and want to keep you message uniform, this is where you want to start.
While you are waiting here are some more videos you might want to watch:
Are you a mom who needs a little more confidence boost to get started with taking charge of your case?
Are you too stressed out to learn your rights and not sure if it is the right thing?
Are you a Mom who has had the court take your child away?
Mothers have a more difficult time with this issue because MOMs are expected to win child custody.
When you don’t you are put on “the Happy Meal plan” that fathers have been placed on for the last 140 years.
If you are having a difficult time adjusting and need some more motivation to start learning your rights. If it is just too overwhelming for you to get started and your health is just taken a toll and you cannot take anymore stress, there is a solution to help you get where you need to be. Add this healing journey to your daily regimen along with our courses.
Now you can start your path to healing your wounds with a Mom who knows what you are going through and understands the importance of being able to use our materials.
check out Monica Szymonik’s video here: