Parental Alienation Business Model - Painful Connections with Your Child

well good evening everyone happy Sunday and today I am going to share with you some painful reminders as well as the four stages of parental alienation so I wrote these four stages to help all of you understand the parental alienation business model because it is a business model within the family law business model and you guys need to understand it because it is one of the most lucrative business models that the family courts have and use today they use the love that you have for your children to extort you and bully you and intimidate you out of your relationships as opposed to protecting your relationship between you and your children and this is a very

painful subject for me so you might find me pausing and taking a few breaths which I recommend all of you do if you don't know who I am I'm sherry Palmer with fixed family courts I was severely alienated to the point where the federal courts actually said that my alienation that I suffered was constitutionally significant so it is a very difficult topic for me to discuss and I appreciate all of your support over the years it has really helped me get through it I am reconnected with my children we do have close relationships but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that there aren't scars and there aren't things that they lost and we're going to

get into that okay so thanks for joining me so I want you to picture a few things before we get started and excuse the hair you guys all know that I travel in a semi it's not very conducive to be very girly and getting all nice and pretty DUP so picture a few things with me if you will and if you have pen and paper that might help you follow along today picture and you probably don't even have to picture it hey Peter thanks so much for joining me sorry about beating you up last time Peter lamp DeVos is with us by the way guys he is an attorney in New York he

has to struggle through these things as well and he does everything that he can to protect the parents that he represents it is a difficult difficult scheme and situation to be in in the family courts so let's picture this okay some of you may actually be going through this you're a parent and you go to pick up your child for your visitation time or your parenting time and you drive let's say 45 miles away because the courts let the other parent move so now you're driving through rush-hour traffic to go get your kids and you get there and you get denied the parent refuses to give you the children so you have to drive all the

way back empty-handed the whole time thinking about what just happened how did this happen you probably even called the police and said I can't get my kids and they said sorry civil matter it's not our deal you're gonna have to go back to court so next day if you're lucky enough that it's still a weekday you go into court and you say I didn't get my kids you don't know at the time that you can file a habeas right which habeas only works on the days that you're entitled to the children but you may not even have time during the hours that the courts are open that you're entitled to your kids

so it's a very frustrating thing so you go to the courts and you tell them hey I'm not getting my kids can I see the judge well no you're told that's not how it works so here you are no kids so you go back the next day because this is your weekend right and same thing happens again and you drive all the way back home no kid in the car and then let's say I'm Saturday you go look you know I need you to give me my child you know our child has plans this weekend I spent money on a camping trip or whatever fishing and so the other parent says all right I'll meet you in the

parking lot and they meet you in the parking lot and you see your kid there's your child almost within your grasp and he locks the doors so you call the police again he sits in the parking lot because guess what they like to share with the police that your child doesn't want to go with you something that's very hard for you to believe because you may have had a super close relationship with that kid before this and so the police do the same thing I can't do anything so or how about this scenario we'll go through one more your ex shows up at your house says here you go here's the kids you got they started

disagreement with you so let's say you're the dad now mom starts a disagreement hey I told you I needed this this and this before you know I give you the kids and next thing you know she's taking back off to the car you're not getting the kids you don't want to call the police again because they haven't helped so how much more of this can you take and what is going on how did it get this way right how could it possibly even be happening that any judge has given control like this to another parent and then the police who are supposed to help you enforce the orders don't do anything so one thing I

want to point out before we get into this business model because I'm gonna show you here on my whiteboard what I drew is that I don't think enough people realize the trauma and how hard it is for you to actually keep going back and in going through this suffering this disappointment this pain these losses right I don't know I don't think people understand how hard that actually is for you to keep going back to get them which by the way the law requires that you go and try to get them so it's constant re-injury for you right hmm so little do you know at that time that it's gonna get much worse right and hey Holly

thanks for showing up I'm gonna bring you in in a little bit so if you can stay right there you guys we have a surprise guest we're gonna bring Holly in and so let me show you let's take a look at the parental alienation business model that I created for you over here so that you know what you're all dealing with okay and only then can we begin to make some progress once you understand what is actually happening so let me see if I can set this down I can be able to set this down so I'm gonna put this in front of me and see if I can turn my camera around I'm not sure

if it lets me do that so just bear with me for a second here everyone [Music] that didn't do it I don't know if I can turn my camera around on here looks like it lets me write on here okay now all right so I'm just gonna hold it up to you guys and in front of me I see back a point of it okay and it's gonna be backwards just the way this thing works so here we've got the court temporary orders right here okay see if I go to poner so I don't rub it off so we'll get to you Brett I see your question so we've got the court

temporary orders here plus gonna move your comments over for a minute plus the violator plus the lack of enforcement which equals parental alienation stage one that's how it gets started and then the next stage is you get back into court right and the court then creates some new temporary orders with a court-appointed advisor or as they call in some states experts times the delays now that you're going to suffer because they have to get all these reports and the investigations that they do so they're gonna make reports and investigations so you've got court-appointed advisors times the delays plus the investigations that's parental alienation stage two okay there's four stages in this and

you're gonna see how these stages get repetitive and very expensive so then let's go back and you go through all of those you get all of your reports you get all of the investigations done all of the discovery you're pretty much broke practically bankrupt and you get a court final order right look at what I wrote here plus the okay you get the court final order and this in this court final order you have a reunified reunification therapist ordered plus possibly supervised visitation until that reunification therapy gets done these are all expenses plus Oh nicely continue to court involvement okay because they're gonna go back and they're gonna review so that's your

parental alienation Stage three and the stage four is now you've got post trial motions you've got Appeals after that well regardless of whether you win the appeal or don't win the appeal you've got modifications or retrials and the cycle just starts all over again and each time that cycle starts over again it gets Messier did doesn't it CPS could be involved if they weren't involved already in this because now allegations may start happening now your child's attitude starts changing okay so they're taking advantage of your love for your child while they're extorting money from you to do all this as if it wasn't bad enough you're going through the hardest times trying to reestablish

routines for your life and for your children as a single individual but you also get to get abused by the government state actors to people you thought you could trust so then to see that effect that it has on your children can really push many over the edge counted your child's attitudes start to change you might be the president of a non-profit association or a library Association like I was and for the first time ever your child and front of other important individuals that you're having a meeting with comes over and just is rude and disrespectful and embarrasses you so badly that you resign so you start dropping off of things you

start removing yourself from the public eye you stop volunteering because now all your focus is on how do I get my children back in my life right it doesn't take a lot or a lot of time for this to happen listen can all happen over a course of a few months to a year and it can go on for many years so it's painful to know that once your child was open and loving and wanting to share with you now you're less than a neighbor or a stranger yet you continue because it's your child and you know that they need you even if they don't know this right now so talking about the painful stuff also

stirs your own painful wounds doesn't it and it isn't just pain you feel it's disappointment shock reminders that your court system is crap you can't trust them you can't trust people in authority and in power and that the courts took advantage of your children worse then your ex ever could have on their own it's a very scary prospect isn't it right we're supposed to have court systems to prevent more civil wars to prevent the violence that you saw in other movements it's a very scary thing and you don't even want to believe it either right so you find your own self in denial and saying I I just can't believe this is happening there must be

something that I did wrong you start doing self blame so you think it's maybe a fluke or something like it's not you guys it's not this is the way the system is is designed like I just showed you okay and either way you just keep going the court again again and again because the only way you can get your authority back is through the court because they took it right the courts are thriving off of us but what now since the police didn't help you the district attorney's not helping you it feels like you're in terrible relationships with everyone around now because you're having to complain about everybody everyone's telling you it's up

to the court and you're running out of money this is what we call core induced parental alienation now I'm trying to turn my head everyone so you're not getting quite the glare from my classes your ex really could not have done this on their own without the assistance of the court and the ambivalence of the police and the district attorney so while you want to be angry at them be angry at the system and let's convert that anger into something effective right so what has happened here the reason that we have this problem today the court induced parental alienation is that we have forgotten the source and parents and children no longer enjoy the

protections that these rights provide we've forgotten the source that the protection of these rights came from and the reason that this started and continues today is because there has been no cohesive understanding of where the rights come from and how they are to be applied so just recently the American Bar Association delegates delegates passed a resolution on August 26th actually they had their mid-year meeting August 12th and 13th 2019 this year and they passed a resolution where they actually admitted that they only had policies to protect children's rights or the right of the children and not to protect the family integrity in the family unit now it sounds kind of contradictory right because if they were

actually protecting the rights of the children they couldn't have violated the integrity of the family in the family unit but I'm just conveying to you how they how they articulated this in their paid their delegate paper which will be up on my blog with this Facebook live you can download the paid the resolution from our website fixed family courts dot-com / blog okay and so what they say is in other words the right of the child to be with the parent is what they left out of the American Bears American Bar Association policies imagine that no wonder you're having a problem that means each of their parents by the way not just one or the other

however they conveniently don't go don't go quite that far in this ABA resolution they never ever admit that they never talk about to parents suits okay they this paper was mostly mostly the brainchild after the separations happened with the immigration right the children of the parents who came over here and were separated from their children so this mostly came from that that's what they talk about mostly but these are still steps in the right direction right preventing separation from their families and admitting that they did not protect the child's right to family integrity and family unity they do address foster care in CPS but we aren't covering that today in this Facebook live but it is a very important

part of how the courts and your ex are able to alienate you from your job so effectively and shockingly so you have a constitutional right to parent your child and your child has a constitutional right to be parented by you you have suffered a significant injury and so have they you are grieving over a forced loss so what does that mean what is a force loss so force loss is different than if your child or family member was taken through an act of God right you actually have societal systems and stages of grieving and Society will support your grieving and your loss and you're not that lost subsides over time and you're able to

heal but when you suffer a force loss caused by other humans we don't get over that and thank God you guys don't thank god you're all here because if we got over that we would never ever change these processes we would never change these broken systems so you've suffered a force loss and through lying trickery bullying ridiculing scheming intimidation all to weaken you and then once you're weak kick you again and punish you with loss of your child so there's no support system for you for that there's no ritual for grieving those losses or forced on you from the legal system in fact people usually tell you to just get over it and move on right

so how many of you have experienced that comment for me down below I'm gonna put these comments back over here and while you're commenting I'm gonna get to your comments after I bring Holly in and Holly Holly has experienced this predatory legal system as well and suffered this shock and I have her here today because she wrote a poem called I'm that mom it almost makes me cry just saying the title Holly so let me bring Holly in so then I see a okay I don't see her now okay so I'm sorry I guess she's not here so I'm gonna have to try to read that to you her name is Holly dress on and she

always tells all of you dress on not dress off I love that Holly so I'm gonna try to read it to you without crying okay I don't know if I can so she says I'm that mom that reminds you to not only brush your teeth but to floss too I'm that mom that sneaks spinach into homemade chicken nuggets I'm that mom that texts you encouraging memes I'm that mom that sends you other people's videos on subjects we've discussed because I know how important third-party validation is I'm that mom that makes sacrifices you don't have to I'm that mom that made a family tradition of walking before and after our Thanksgiving meal I pray to do that with you this year I'm

that mom that prays for your safety when I'm not around I'm that mom that prays for your I'm that mom that writes 143 on your napkin for lunch I'm that mom that is not only your biggest cheerleader but the loudest I'm that mom that tries every day to be better than I was the day before I'm that mom that dreams what most say are impossible to use I'm that mom that's been alienated from you I'm that mom that is never ever going to give up I'm that mom hashtag pause reflect move forward hashtag parental alienation Thank You Holly so much for being vulnerable and allowing us to all grow through your pain and help us heal through that pain

I heard all over again when I read words like that and it's hard for all of us to talk and think about this painful process but I work every day on fixing this process that's my mission and I have not achieved that mission yet until I've ended the painful process for all of you and that this pain that I feel now is because of all the pain that all of you are going through that I want to stop I want this all to end for all of you so let me get to some of your questions and see how some of your comments here hmm Theatre makes a good point he says a

poorly written order means they make money which is true because then you have a difficult time so what he's saying is if you guys have a poorly written order where you can't enforce it you have to go back and get the orders corrected or clarified or modified and that's an expensive process you got to pay a lawyer to go do that and then let's see yeah I love that phrase Peter kids are the tail that wags the dog so Brad says what about my extreme situation so hi des hi Kelly thanks for watching um Britt kind of tell people of what what exact part are you asking about and then I'll get get

to your question okay ABA is not government I agree it's not government however the people who practice those policies are acting as state actors is that correct Peter that when they go into the court and the representing parents but they're also representative of the court right or how would you say it Peter once you put it down then the judge empowers the ex true let's see Margaret Margaret says it's yeah I agree Margaret says not one decision has been made in the best interest of her child not one and I'm sure you guys can all say excuse me can all say that as well it's never in your child's best interest to be removing a

fit parent from their life to force parents into these highly adversarial litigation situations without proper causes of action and the proper causes of action that we are talking about are the ones that are triggered properly by meeting the constitutional threshold it's because they go under that threshold that they are able to torture all of you and extort this money from you know if they were held to the standards the proper standards they wouldn't be able to get off get away with so much oh thanks for shopping in Peter Peter has to drop off everyone thank you so much so Bret the habeas stuff okay so hey when I brought out the habeas what I'm talking about is if you

are supposed to have your child let's say Thursday and Friday after school right like that's expanded standard in Texas and you didn't get them on Thursday so Friday morning you could walk into the Texas courts now remember I don't know all your details I'm not a lawyer anyone not a substitute for a lawyer and I don't practice law we educate you guys on this system so that you know better what to ask for and how to negotiate and communicate your needs and reach your goals with your attorney so I'm sorry this all looks really weird I look like I mean it's like Halloween like I have weird veins popping out now okay so the Habeas so Friday morning if

your case qualifies you can go in and ask for habeas which is a habeas corpus means bring the body of the child to the court it takes priority over pretty much everything except for like a murder trial and so you can go in and ask the court to have the ex bring those children to the court get a writ of attachment and get your time with your child now that's all assuming that a lot of things work correctly like you can get in to be heard now when I had to do it I walked from court to court and went from judge to judge because in our particular situation you didn't have to

have your judge hear it you could go to any of those judges and I didn't know this without just trying it I was so desperate to get that time with my children because I knew that the more time they spent away from me and the more time they spent with him being negative and poisoning their minds on me the more they would be alienated and have wrong ideas about me and the more they would miss out from all the benefits they got from being with me too so anyways you walk from judge to judge and you ask them to hear it now some judges will say no your judge has to hear it but then you remind them it's

a habeas it needs to be heard immediately because it can only be heard on the taste you're entitled to possession so if you can get a judge to hear it then and and yes I'm talking about you know you got to notify the other side but I walked in ex parte I sent an email to the other side because we had agreed on email notification so there's lots of things you gotta have in place but once you get that all in place especially if there's an alienator they're gonna do this over and over and over again so as long as you have time during the week you have opportunity to do this if you do not have time during

the week and during the open hours of court unfortunately this mechanism won't be available to you so I'm really sorry about that but for the ones who do have it available use it do everything you can to disrupt that alienation okay so let me see if anyone else has questions okay Bret no problem you can go on later and view this he said he can't type because he's driving please don't try to write while you're driving I probably should have said that earlier okay I think that was all the questions and I'm sorry if I miss any I know last time I was trying to see questions on here and for some reason it wasn't showing me

everything so I joined me tomorrow I'm gonna be on here live every day all the way up to our workshops this weekend as I cover another parental alienation topic with you all week's gonna be parental alienation topics as we inch closer to two key workshops I want you guys to know about that are happening this weekend and I hope you'll continue your journey with us towards justice and healing and join us on these workshops so we are supporting parents teaching other parents so Monica shamanic has a workshop on Saturday and I encourage all of you to get in there these are parents teaching parents we need to keep encouraging this it's called be the

lighthouse and she will teach you how to stay connected with your child whether you are you can talk with them or see them or not and then I will follow the next day on Sunday with a workshop for those of you who want to learn about changing the policies that are allowing the separation of parent child and to learn about the parental alienation lawsuits so Monica's link I'll be posting up at the top let me know if you do go because if you go I just I have a special bonus for you when you come to mine on Sunday if you show me a receipt to hers so again thank you so much you

guys and I hope you will continue to journey with us towards justice and healing and see you tomorrow bye