Q&A webinar #3 partial

you okay if you guys can start posting any questions that you have if you don't then I'm going to get to some of the questions that we have in the email to get us started okay and try to make your questions somewhat specific give me a single question at a time so that we can address that if you do make it compound I might break it break it down and last week if you guys were here we covered a lot of good material we got into a doctrine that I remembered later was called the clean hands doctrine and we were talking about situations where parents create conditions or a parent might create a condition during the

pendency of your lawsuit whether it be just divorce child custody whatever it is that you guys are litigating over and they'll create conditions to disadvantage you they've been using that doctrine for a long long time in contract law they tend to not use anything that they can avoid in family law as most of you know but get familiar with that I just posted it on my blog there's lots and lots of cases that use it get familiar with it and talk to your lawyer to see if maybe they they can integrate some arguments to get the judge to rule on whether or not they're going to allow conditions that were created during the pendency of the suit

because that's not really an accurate picture of what's going on right and I don't mean accurate picture as in do they know your life do they know everything about it everything about child's life what I'm talking about is an accurate picture of whether or not a parent is a danger or unfit for a child so you know they're creating inflammatory conditions they're stressing you out they're making you worried some of them are even taking off with your children closing bank accounts so naturally you're going to be responding to those things I know some you probably regret some of the responses that you have but either way it's human and so there's a lot of

dialogue around that but you want to make sure that's out there and upfront and that you address that so we did talk a little bit about that last Thursday we talked about that being one of the elephants in the room that if you don't address that elephant in the room let me get that blog post for you if you don't address it they're gonna use it against you and then maybe you're not gonna get an opportunity to address it because at some point in time that judges made up their mind haven't they and then they don't let you talk anymore so you need to get it out there as soon as possible

if nothing else to put it on the record there's something else that I want to address before we get started in your questions let me give you the blog link so you guys can all go there and get that clean hands doctoring quote that I just posted right before I started the webinar it's really important I think it's it's a very simple way of looking at the clean hands doctrine I think you'll be able to understand how it maybe relates to you even though it's not a divorce or child custody case that I got it from okay so you guys don't have to go there now and look at it but I'm going to tell you the name of it it

is brown versus lead Minnesota Court of Appeals 2015 so it's not it's not a Supreme Court case from the United States Supreme Court and if you're not in Minnesota and you're not in that appellate court it's not going to be controlling for you but again what you're trying to do is understand some of these concepts so that you start making better choices and better decisions with your lawyer and in the court itself so if you don't have a lawyer understanding the way they might look at something or think about something will help you get the result that you want because you will learn how to communicate to the court in a way

that they can take appropriate action okay doesn't mean they will and the other thing that I wanted to address with you was right before I came into this webinar I was getting some emails I won't mention any names and I see your question there Steve oh I'll get to that I won't mention any names but you know when someone emails me and says I talked to a parent and they said they used your methods and they didn't work no method always works all the time the methods that we teach by the way are not just any method it's not just materials that we created what we are teaching is the foundation of your

rights and the protection of those rights so when somebody says that it didn't work what does that mean exactly and in this particular case it means the judge didn't side with them we tell everybody all the time that just because you go in there and you show the judge you learned your rights does not mean the judge is going to agree with you does that mean that you don't present your rights does that mean you don't tell them did you want them to apply the proper law to your case no of course it doesn't so keep in mind that you're dealing with a lot of frustrated people you are also dealing and I mean out

there you're wherever you're surfing Google Facebook people your parents your calling you're dealing with a lot of frustration you're dealing with a lot of hurt a lot of anger and a lot of desperation and everybody wants that magic bullet right everybody wants to be able to say I found the one thing that works every time if that was the case none of you would be here right now or at least not very many of you right I mean there's always those few that are not in touch third or didn't hear about something and they find out about it later down the road I mean heck we still have we still have lots and lots of

self-help books that have been selling for generations so what I'm saying is there's lots of different reasons somebody may feel that something doesn't work and the other thing is a lot of parents when they come to us if they're already at the end of their case which was the case in this particular one and you're in a final it's very very hard to get that turned around to change the momentum in a final you're gonna have a lot more luck if you start using this earlier on but again does that mean that you don't protect your rights and preserve them on the record I hope not because if you don't use them you're not

going to be able to raise that on appeal you will not be able to challenge that judge so hopefully now nobody in this group has a misunderstanding about what it is we're talking about we are not guaranteeing that you're gonna get your way when you use these methods we are saying that when you start applying these materials and making different decisions you will start getting some different results and most the time there are positive results not always in the court that sometimes outside the court sometimes with some of your negotiations with the other parents sometimes that changes sometimes it changes the way you look at things the way you handle these and again in that

particular case where this parent claims the other parent says the material didn't work we're still applying that material we're still working with that parent and there's a lot more to the methods that we use when we hope you integrate this stuff into your life we also help you change a lot of other things about your life and again that's that's how you deal with that other parent the kind of decisions you were making regarding the communications without other parents so there's a lot of success that we're having in that area as well so I wouldn't look at that person's situation as it didn't work and when you start to get negative like that

you are basically closing your own doors you will cause yourself to fail and not have any other avenue or outlet so I hope that none of you do that and if you do come to me I'll maybe you know I don't want to say kick you around a little bit but if you kick me around I'm gonna show you if it's accurate then you know I'll say okay yeah you know maybe that didn't work if this didn't work but in this particular case I don't see anything that didn't work I just see situations where sometimes you don't get a judge that agrees with you okay so if we got that settled let me go on to our

first question and Steve you're saying that your ex is wealthy and has succeeded in alienating you from your four kids and the family law system supports her that sounds familiar the ex has BPD which if any of you are not familiar with that that's bipolar disorder and is abusive to the children okay so what is your question Steve okay so put a question out there David asked a quote and I'll get back to you when you ask a question and just that's the foundation of where he's starting from so David asks in trial how can you get your evidence presented in court well David I'm glad you asked that question we are not lawyers but we do help well

what we do is we present information that we read that we've come across out of some of the law books that we have so we just share it with you or some Mets you know some things that we might have done when we were going through it so I have blog post David if you type in the word evidence on the blog post it will pull up every article that we've written on that and in fact I went into great detail on some of those so go to the WWF X family courts com blog and I'll post the link up here and get back to the right page it's quite hot in here I have

a broken air conditioner so you have to forgive me if I start getting flush okay here's the blog go to that page David and anyone else if you want to look at that real quick because this is real this is a really really valuable tool you go to that link go to the right side of the top of the page where it says winning child custody strategies go below that box it's a purple box there's a there's a yellow button that says opt-in to win go below that you'll see a lookingglass and a bar type in the word evidence and hit return mine's going really slow and there you go as soon as you do that you're gonna see

posts that say daily tools storing and sharing your evidence just got easier then go to the next one entering evidence hearsay exception the next one the four steps for entering your evidence the next one remedy for removing judicial immunity next when what happens after the final trial being left in limbo without a final order sign so David let's go to the one that says the four steps for entering your evidence and I'm just going to copy the link for you guys because you can spend your time going through that David and then if you have additional questions you can certainly send those to me through email so here's the post on that

one David I hope that gives you what you want and let's see make sure I didn't miss any questions up here okay alright so Steve you still have a posted your question I'm not sure what you're asking on that about the your ex has alienated you you're saying she has a bipolar disorder abusive to the children I can tell you that we did discuss some topics regarding you know when parents when parents feel that the other parent is abusive to the children and they go in and they try to prove that to the courts and then the court doesn't the court doesn't do anything about it I see that happen a lot and the way that I understand it

is for the most part I hear about the parent complaining about abuse to the children or making the allegations excuse me lose the children and then the children the children end up with a parent that that other parent felt or knew was abusive right and again my understanding of it and from our perspective for what we do is that from a constitutional perspective our observation is could just be simply biases and they just acted on that when you're making allegations that someone's abusive to children from every state I've checked in child abuse is illegal it's a crime so let's say you've made those allegations you did not prove it to that level and the other parent then

counters and starts making claims about you or complaints that you're interfering with their ability to spend time with the children to have a good relationship and those kinds of things and the judge sides with them they might be using preponderance of the evidence which is a lowered standard so it's not right it's not just at all it's getting really bad results which is why we also have posts on that talking about raise the standard raise the due process that you're using ask for it in your motion so when you file a motion to be heard on your claims asks for strict scrutiny to be used as for clear and convincing evidence and then make sure did you have

evidence to meet that standard but ask for it to be used so they don't lower it on you that's what I think is hurting most parents you