How can Learning the Family Law Business Model Save You Money?

0:00 okay so today we are going to talk about 0:06 my version of the family law business model and introduce you all to a few 0:12 simple ideas that will teach you how to save money and get on the right track for winning your freedom back sounds 0:21 great right so the things that I'm going to talk about today have literally saved lives 0:28 and all it might take in your case is a mindset shift to set things right again 0:34 in your life I know that when I understood the big picture of everything that was going on it became easier for 0:41 me to figure out what I needed to do to accomplish my goals so I'm glad you're 0:47 here with me today I'm gonna make this quick I won't be on here long but I'm 0:53 gonna tell you what once I understood what was going on in the family court 1:01 process I was able to make better decisions that needed to be made and 1:06 they were so much easier to make so I'm gonna help all of you with that today some people might think that this is 1:12 just about narcissus and protective parents and it's not it's actually 1:19 bigger than that that's just one piece of the puzzle and it may be an extremely 1:26 significant piece of the puzzle for you I know I had a pathological liar that I 1:31 had to deal with but you know what I really hate the labels simply because the more labels you put on things the 1:38 more they're gonna cost you in the Family Court process alright so it 1:44 certainly complicates things and we're gonna try to simplify things for you here today the family court business 1:51 model is actually so much more complicated but when you break it down 1:57 to what you're dealing with it becomes simple so we're going to talk about just 2:04 a couple variations there might be a lot of different variations and that's what I help with is helping parents figure 2:11 out what variation they're dealing with so can apply the right solutions so it's really more like a recipe than it is a 2:18 formula you combine like when you're baking and you combine ingredients it's 2:25 all about how you combine them that's what determines what you get right that determines your resolve so cooking is 2:33 chemistry and we're not gonna get into that that is something that is one of my 2:39 love's I was going to school to be a biochemist when I went through my 2:44 divorce and of course all of that was shot to hell there's no way I could continue to do labs that required me to 2:52 go there in the middle of the night and still be able to navigate the process 2:59 and keep rites in time with my children so if you've ever wondered how about if 3:07 you've ever wondered like how to get results in your case and you've gone to 3:15 attorneys and you're just not getting what you need well it's probably because you don't understand the recipe that you 3:23 need so I'm going to give you some simple steps that you can take to simplify the process for you so what 3:30 will you understand by the end of this video then you don't have to be liked to 3:35 keep your rights to your children you don't even have to please the judge I remember when I when I the first time I 3:42 realized this I told the opposing counsel that you know what I don't care 3:49 if you like me or not his jaw hit the floor he couldn't believe it you can 3:54 believe that he couldn't intimidate me anymore that's what's gonna happen for you when you learn these simple steps okay excuse 4:03 the hair so you're also going to learn that you are the expert in your own life 4:10 you don't need hire a bunch of experts to tell you how to live your life right 4:16 you just need some relief and you don't 4:21 need to hire a bunch of experts to tell you how to raise your child in your life so you're going to learn a 4:27 about how to go about this so that you don't get those things imposed on you so 4:33 you decide what's best for your child and no matter how much you try to do things their way it's never going to 4:39 produce the results you want okay that's their recipe we're gonna teach you how to come up with your own 4:46 but there is something that protects you and it's an often forgotten about ingredients so when you're putting your 4:52 recipes together if you forget an ingredient that can be pretty devastating and we're gonna get to that 4:59 in a minute um but if you forget flour when you're 5:05 making a cake or even gumbo right we all know what happens it's flat or it's too 5:11 liquidy it's not digestible it tastes horrible and the rest of the ingredients 5:18 might not even hold together that's the way family law is it's like a recipe and 5:24 once you learn the right one to follow the end result will be so much better 5:30 so picture it this way if you want to make gumbo at ofay right you need and I 5:37 don't know if I say that right that's one of my my husband's home town that's 5:45 what they're big on that's what they make is his gumbo etouffee he eats a 5:51 different variation of gumbo but I remember every time we were cooking it how he talks about the smell reminds him 5:58 of home but if you don't put the right combination of ingredients in there you don't get that same aroma right he 6:04 always knew when he tasted it or he smelled it cooking you knew immediately if something was 6:09 missing you just didn't know what it was and that might be the boat that all of you guys are in right now so let's go 6:18 back to this example so family law is like a recipe and if you are let's say 6:26 sorry let me adjust this real quick let's say that you want to get more time 6:35 with your kids right you want equal time so what they're going to do is they're gonna line up a bunch of people 6:43 experts court-appointed experts if they're gonna start suggesting for you to hire it's kind of like walking down 6:49 the aisle of a supermarket where you're shopping for all of the spices and 6:54 instead of having brand names like Lowery's or no brand like equate 6:59 depending on your your resources how much money you have might decide for you 7:05 which one you choose now you're choosing between which guardian ad litem or which parenting 7:12 facility leader and maybe even which attorney sorry about that 7:17 maybe even which attorney you're going to use and it's all depending on how much money you have as to what you get 7:25 to put into that recipe so keep that in mind we're gonna picture that like a 7:31 supermarket okay the problem with this is that someone The Problem 7:38 else is choosing the ingredients for you aren't they and they're not even telling you what recipes they're operating off 7:46 of so you and your eggs each have a pot and your attorneys choosing the ingredients that go into this pot and 7:52 they're limiting your choices for you for what ingredients you can put in there so the problem is again they're 7:59 leaving out the flour but you don't know this yet okay so your ex has a cook you 8:04 have a cook and the judge is the chief chef and we all know what happens when 8:10 you have too many cooks in the kitchen you end up with a disaster and disasters are very expensive to clean up but it's 8:17 very empowering and liberating once you realize what is happening once you 8:22 realize it's not your fault and once you realize what's happening and that the courts have a business model that 8:28 thrives on two parents you don't know what they're doing then who are willing to let someone else do the shopping in 8:36 the cooking for them then you can start to make your life better and change your 8:41 result once you realize this you can win your child rights back you can get a 8:48 better child custody result so when we say win child custody we're not saying 8:53 you're taking them from the other parent we're saying you are going to get I win 8:59 that is fair that doesn't costs you your 9:04 entire life savings and all of your resources and that doesn't create more 9:11 stress in you life okay so first I don't think I introduced myself so let me tell Who I am 9:17 you guys a little bit about Who I am I I'm sherry Palmer I co-founded fixed 9:25 family chords with Ron Palmer and we've published books not in the child's best interest 9:30 protecting parent-child bonds and oath breakers we've helped parents get out of jail protect their children identify the 9:40 ingredients necessary in their case put together the recipe they need to be 9:45 effective and get good results we've helped people conserve their resources 9:52 identify what research resources they do or don't have by giving them the big 9:58 picture spend less money basically and achieve better results ultimately both 10:03 you and your acts like I said can win child custody but your drink's probably 10:09 aren't telling you that so and some of you might be advocates on here right 10:14 that wanna are helping other parents and they want to learn to do this in in a 10:21 better way because they find that they're getting frustrated too so we help you guys with your recipe as well 10:28 and so to do all of this to get good results to change the family court 10:35 system you all need a plan a system and education to do that I hope others you 10:41 need the same so by now all know that This is a horrible process 10:49 this is a horrible process and system and that you need a better plan right so 10:57 we travel all over the United States we see these results all over the place we help parents just like you so if you're 11:04 going through this and you're getting horrible results put on make a comment down there so I 11:10 know who you are so I know that you can hear me for one I should have probably 11:15 checked earlier but put it up put down there if you've experienced this or 11:22 you're helping other parents so by now The stress of family law 11:28 you know that it's true that the family courts have they take two parents who have successful careers they're healthy 11:35 they're thriving and they make them broke and say right I've known family 11:41 law attorneys quit practicing family law because it got too stressful and they 11:47 couldn't handle what happened to them themselves the stress is that intense it 11:53 has destroyed careers and the length of time that the stress lasts it creates 11:59 the perfect conditions for PTSD depression even suicide so I had 12:07 attorneys tell me that judges know that in divorce they're seeing good people at their worst so what they don't tell you 12:15 is that it's the attorneys perpetuating a destructive family law process that is 12:21 making the parents act this way it doesn't take them long before they 12:26 tear you down to fit their ideas and their beliefs right I know some of you 12:32 have experienced that as well after that first hearing you start What happens after the first hearing 12:40 losing a lot of sleep don't you you start wondering what good was it that I 12:46 paid that giant retainer some of you might have only paid 1500 which is still a lot of money but I know people who 12:51 paid five and ten thousand dollar retainers so you might be wondering well what good was this attorney I don't feel 12:58 like I got protected and you're wondering what else you can 13:03 do what else will happen what else can happen if the attorneys not getting the 13:09 results you want who can right so you don't get much sleep and you hope that 13:15 maybe tomorrow might bring better results or maybe you're not sleeping you 13:20 hope tomorrow won't come because the sooner you go to sleep the sooner the next day comes and then the doorbell 13:27 might ring and then you might get some mail and I know people that triggers 13:34 their PTSD when those two things happen normal everyday occurrences become 13:40 triggers for that anxiety and that stress that sorry I just saw comment on 13:47 there we'll go over those at the end but that that stress that you're 13:52 experiencing becomes triggered by all 13:58 kinds of things in life that you never expected I used to have a hard time going to see movies because it would 14:06 show families right it would show parents getting to parent their children 14:11 and even people in divorce that would show like being a happily divorced and I 14:18 couldn't understand why I didn't deserve the same thing why my kids didn't 14:24 deserve the same thing so it would just trigger me I'd have to leave the movie I just finally stopped going to the movies 14:30 and that's assuming you can still afford movies but that was kind of my my brain 14:37 break for a while and I had to give that up because it triggered me too often so you'll be wondering you know when I'm 14:46 gonna get summoned to court again what is going to happen next what new allegations are they going to come up 14:51 with and sometimes you got to be immediately ready to mobilize don't you you might have they could come up with 14:58 some kind of false allegation say there's an ex parte hearing in two hours 15:03 right most the time it'll be the very next day but either way it doesn't give you hardly any time you gotta figure out 15:10 how to take off work you might have the kids you have to pick up that name by the way your 15:15 exes and their attorneys they strategically plan these things to happen on your birthday's to happen when 15:21 it's your day to have your children to make you miss more time to stress you 15:27 out so that you'll make more mistakes so some waiting isn't working okay 15:36 that's the bottom line you keep waiting for the tide to turn for things to get better after about six to twelve months 15:41 of going through this losing sleep not being able to eat you start taking anxiety meds getting depressed more 15:47 you're wondering how you're gonna keep paying at this pace right you're probably maintaining two households you're having to pay attorney you might 15:54 be to having to pay multiple court-appointed experts counselors therapists things like that when is it 16:00 going to end there is no expiration on most temporary orders so it's so important that you 16:07 learn these things that I'm talking about today so that you can get this to resolve faster so that it doesn't drive 16:14 you into bankruptcy so it's straining you straining your resources to the breaking point we want 16:21 to help prevent that that that happens through education on top of all of this When things get worse 16:30 when things get worse you start getting told you need to hire more experts right you start being told 16:38 you need more experts maybe you need a guardian ad litem maybe you need an amicus if you don't already have those 16:43 maybe a psychologist maybe they're gonna start suggesting psych evals because maybe you start complaining more hey 16:50 you're looking for answers so you start assigning labels to the ex like well 16:56 maybe they are narcissus well maybe they have bipolar disorder I don't understand 17:02 how anyone could possibly be this evil right there must be something wrong with them you just won't accept that it is 17:09 the way the process thrives right and the more you complain the more 17:16 ingredients you have to buy and the more paychecks they make and so you can also 17:21 picture this as like they're lining up in the supermarket right holding their hands out waiting for their paychecks 17:26 from you who who benefits from it's not you and your children and it's 17:31 not even really the ex although they hang carrots out there in front of them and I have I have to wonder even if they 17:38 get child support if they paid you know two hundred thousand five hundred thousand dollars to get this just to a 17:46 final order the first time around did they really make any money even off 17:52 child child support so if you think about it it's kind of like income redistribution isn't it which we're not 17:59 going to get into in in this life you can check us out and we can talk about 18:06 other things like that later so in other words don't worry about that right now 18:12 we specialize in helping you figure throughout these ingredients find the ones that are right for you The process starts like this 18:18 they'll get you the results you want so let's say the process started like this 18:24 you went to an attorney you told them that you needed help either to get a divorce or because you were served a divorce and 18:32 so you're responding to those divorce papers you told them you love your children you just want to make sure your 18:38 ex couldn't follow through with taking your children away from you this attorney might tell you it's simple 18:44 you just have to ask the judge for custody but first you have to pay a big fat retainer right and you have to do 18:51 everything exactly the way they tell you to do it your ex also visits an attorney 18:57 as well that attorney says they'll take care of them tells them what they want to hear that you're a horrible person so 19:04 your attorneys are both commiserating with you and they're becoming basically your support system right your worldview 19:11 becomes very narrow because you only trust what they're telling you what they're giving you because after all 19:17 they are the experts right so you're 19:23 complaining that you have a different parenting style than the other parent has you're panicking because your 19:30 relationship is starting to change in this process the more stress you're under the more stress that kids are 19:36 under you're getting blamed for all of it so you're just looking to that 19:41 attorney to save you right I mean so essentially you both become victims of the system so 19:49 your resource that helps you get through 19:55 this in your mind is the money that you can pay so when you start to run out of money you start to panic even further 20:01 and I'm gonna tell you right here right now don't panic but also stop taking out 20:06 loans for this it's that's not gonna help you okay money is not what is going 20:12 to help you I can't say that enough times and by the way where else would Where else would you go 20:26 you go pay money of that magnitude and not receive a contract that tells you 20:35 excuse me the lights went off let me just turn those back on real quick somebody that is supposed to be managing 20:41 my lights that'll sleep on me all right having that so where were we 20:57 so mm-hmm you were never given a 21:02 contract you were never told what was in the business plan that you were buying 21:08 right you were never told that you were gonna employ five ten fifteen different people 21:18 you were never even asked if you could afford to do it this way we're told that 21:24 there was any other way sorry about the hair guys I'm just we're on the road and we just got a new truck 21:32 which is gonna be our mobile office and so we're pretty excited about that but there's been a lot of setup that has to 21:39 do with that pretty picture when you move when you move your entire house that's kind of what we've been doing so 21:48 if you see things like you're dealing with a narcissist or bipolar or a person 21:55 has a personality just disorder what happens your retainer goes up doesn't it What happens when your retainer goes up 22:00 they start to say oh my gosh there's gonna be a whole lot more interaction in 22:07 this case they know you're gonna get stressed out they know you're gonna be messaging them constantly they know that 22:13 you and your ex are gonna have a lot of interactions whether it be text messaging phone calls whether it be in 22:21 person with struggles during the child exchange time period but if you go in 22:27 there and you say this is these are the issues I'm dealing with and I want you to save me from that then the attorney 22:32 knows it's gonna get very complicated and complicated is expensive so that's why you need to learn to simplify it 22:38 before you bring it to your attorney if you've done that already don't panic you you can still get yourself out you so 22:46 bail yourself out of this it just might take a few more extra steps but if 22:52 you're brand new in this you have the opportunity to start this off right okay so the attorneys know it's gonna get 22:59 complicated and expensive but there is a better way you can get through this I 23:05 did it mine like I said was a pathological liar either way they both 23:10 create chaos and expense if you do it their way they know that they know that 23:18 if they paint a picture for you that says I'm gonna give you relief that you 23:24 are saying you want they're basically mirroring you that you'll pay and that you'll keep paying because you just want 23:31 to push it aside right you don't want to think about this you just want to think I have somebody who can be my savior and 23:38 they're an expert in this field and I'm not so I need to just do what they're telling me to do well they survive on 23:45 having power over you the more you react and respond the more the more worth it 23:50 is for them the other side because they know the more it's gonna cost you and your ex by the way they know how much 23:56 money you have they know that if they run you out of money that they can achieve their goal which is to keep 24:02 causing you pain because they might be in pain right so many of them are 24:08 extreme these successful people I want to cover that with you because sometimes you might think well you know what I've 24:14 never been the real popular one in school so if my attorneys gonna expect me to go and win everybody over that's 24:21 not my forte that wasn't really mine that was my exes and you guys might all 24:27 think that you know I'm liked and everything else and yeah I mean I generally was but I wasn't a kiss-ass 24:33 right so I wasn't a person that was gonna go in and just open my wife up to 24:39 them and say Here I am open book do what you want and I'll tell you what you want I felt my family life and my marriage 24:45 was privacy issue I didn't feel I needed to tell them what problems I had in my 24:50 marriage because we were getting out of it I thought we were gonna raise our 24:56 children equally together so I didn't see any reason to do air my dirty 25:01 laundry now a lot of you want to air your grievances in court that is costing you money so stop it that's not the 25:08 place to do that and I wish the courts would act appropriately and realize 25:13 their boundaries and not allow you to spend money on that there and go get 25:20 help from someone else okay and that someone else might be you know your 25:26 church or professional counselors of your choosing by the way not somebody 25:31 they order you choose how you want to deal with your situations if you keep 25:38 asking them to choose for you they're not going to be results you like parents who ask the courts to assign a counselor 25:43 to them have very difficult times getting a different counselor when that 25:49 counselor turns out to be bias or rude to them or even puts in put in charge of your time with your child and the judge 25:56 is like well you asked for that counselor so you trusted them why can't I just you know point them to make all 26:02 the decisions for you in your life all right so be careful how you're doing those things you guys are stressed and 26:08 you don't always realize if that's what's happening but that is what's happening is you are giving up your 26:14 ability to make those choices in your life right they couldn't take them from you unless you give them up because if 26:21 they try to take them for there's a process they're supposed to follow and like I said we teach that in 26:28 some other webinars and courses so don't 26:34 worry about being liked okay let them act the way they act you just continue to be true to yourself and Dont worry about being liked 26:41 find the pop that works for you all right they continue to act the way they do because it benefits them mmm and 26:49 they'll typically get the upper hand on you by the way early on but you can turn that around if you know how and we'll 26:56 get to that a little a little later so after your first temporary orders hearing where they made you an every 27:01 other weekend parent or as some parents call it a Happy Meal parent or Disneyland parent you get mad right 27:10 you get mad that this is happening to you you get mad at the other parent you're hurt you're desperate to get 27:16 things to change your relationship with your children is getting more strange you're becoming alienated the kids are 27:23 lashing out the kids are starting to do the bidding for the other parent and you can believe that this is what happened 27:29 now that's getting used against you saying that your relationship is crap in 1982 hire another person right don't go 27:37 down that path that anger you can actually convert your pain you can 27:43 convert into effective action okay so 27:49 even if that other parent has mental health issues don't let your attorney 27:55 run with that that's usually their cue to take further advantage of you and 28:01 your pain and they start suggesting you need to employ some additional people right the Audion we know the routine 28:08 that's pretty much their answer to everything let's find another expert so 28:13 your X gets emboldened they retaliate so I'm explaining if you go down that path 28:19 with that lawyer and you say Oh what the heck you know I'm too busy I'm working go ahead and run with that mental health 28:25 issue I'm just gonna go ahead and try it right and see how the results turn out by the way you guys might not get 28:31 another chance and we'll talk about that later too so you're 28:36 might get mad that the other side filed the request for psych evals or a request 28:42 for child custody studies so now they might retaliate things get worse and they might request a supervised 28:48 visitation or even start making allegations of child abuse against you or maybe a new person you have in your 28:54 life they might say oh a stepparent is touching my children inappropriately and you thought your life was stressful and 29:01 bad before wait until they accuse one of your stepchildren right and then say 29:08 that you're now choosing between your stepchild and your child and who you're gonna believe when they make sexual 29:14 abuse plan oh it is it gets bad you guys that's why I'm saying don't take this 29:19 path so and be aware of that to everyone if you do good do get into a new 29:26 relationship or have stepchildren you need to take some protective measures because they become the fodder for the 29:33 fire for the other side we want you guys all to become the water you're all going to be the buckets of water that put out 29:41 these fires right you're gonna come out of this glowing beautifully your life is 29:47 going to be corrected all you got to do is learn this just realize in that 29:53 you're reacting and that you guys are playing off of each other or as Monica called it I see she's here the perfect 29:59 marriage right Monica I love that little description you gave about the narc and the victim role and and by the way her 30:05 models not wrong this is I'm just giving you guys a different way to look at this 30:12 we all learn differently we all go to different people's things things resonate from different people for us 30:19 right something I say may not work for you as well as something she says or somebody else so we want to make sure 30:25 you guys all have different examples so everybody can get on the same page with 30:33 their methods that they're using so whether or not you come here in 30:38 different ways I'm going to show you that this solution is actually all the 30:43 same even if your recipe ingredients are different so 30:49 where if you're in new relationships beware how they're going to use auto-pay they've destroyed relationships before 30:55 so parents in conflict make everyone in the system a lot of money okay 31:03 I think it's up over sixty two billion dollars but I think it went up about 1.6 31:08 percent from the time the divorce court made their fifty billion dollar calculations about 1 million new people 31:17 parents go through divorce every single year that means that there's it it 31:24 doesn't mean there's a million children but if every family had at least one child Newfie figure on average its 31:32 statistically you guys there would be one child per couple then you could say 31:37 there's probably about a million children you're going through because some people have two children three four five six so about a million children 31:45 every year on average are going through this and I think the calculations I need Monica you were saying something like 22 31:52 million parents Oh actually was a racing family dot-org who found that statistic 32:00 that 22 million parents are erased from their children's lives each year through 32:07 parental alienation and that's what this system ultimately leads to if you're not 32:12 already alienated which I know people like Lydia I know you're alienated that's what this an ultimately leads to 32:19 do is is you end up becoming a strange from your child artificially so mmm in Narcissistic behaviors 32:28 order to keep control and management of your case you need to keep learning how 32:34 to do that and by the way narcissistic behaviors are not all bad you might 32:42 wonder how can so many people have these similar traits in these high conflict 32:48 family court cases that's because narcissism narcissism actually not nationally the narcissistic 32:55 type behaviors III differentiates as my daughter gets me on me all the time 33:00 she's a PhD in psychology without rotation and says that there's a 33:06 difference between a narcissist diagnosis and narcissistic behaviors 33:11 right we all have behaviors that come from a lot of different diagnoses but 33:17 doesn't mean we actually have the condition so I just want you to differentiate from that because I think 33:23 that's what probably frustrates so many of you is that you pay a lot of money to 33:29 try to prove somebody has a particular diagnosis and you're not realizing that that's why your money might have been 33:37 wasted they might not actually have that diagnosis just some of those traits or characteristics those have been very 33:44 beneficial they say some of the top people in business are actually narcissists right they call of narcissists but they have those 33:50 behaviors and that control and that drive to manage things benefit you in 33:56 business that isn't it so trying to eliminate all those behaviors trying to change that person isn't the solution 34:02 here um so you all you know when you're Youre willing to spend 34:08 going through this is that you're without your child and you're willing to spend what it takes to bring your child 34:14 back home when one mom put it perfectly and you guys might recognize this and 34:20 know who she is she said that what happens is as victims we start spending money also to get back into the courts 34:26 good graces so if we lose enthusiasm if we lose temporary custody of our kids 34:32 maybe reduce every other weekend like her or you're going to end up spending money and get back into the courts good 34:37 graces but you're gonna get a therapist for your kid because you think if what there's what you're saying isn't enough 34:44 let you hire a therapist where the therapist can say that the child should be around you or you might hire a 34:50 psychological evaluator to examine yourself and that person can tell the court that you're not crazy 34:56 and you're a normal person or you might say let you get a gal this quotes kind 35:02 of I'm summarizing quotes from Monica but let you get a gal so the gal can 35:07 measure in your backyard and look in your life and say that you're a good person by the way Monica I was chugged 35:12 when I heard that because I I never got a gal in my sitch I wouldn't have even thought of that one 35:19 to measure a backyard how ridiculous is that you guys they have to come up with 35:25 excuses to justify what they're charging you right they got to make it look like 35:31 they're doing something official that's just ridiculous you're not even supposed Poverty held against you 35:36 to have poverty held against you excuse me one minute you know you're supposed 35:42 to have you know poverty held against you and they're not supposed to be able to use it to take your children away but 35:47 you see that every day in these don't you in these cases mmm so how many of you here have done all this gotten a gallon 35:55 amicus and then they just made reports that that makes you feel horrible if you 36:00 had that happen put in the comments that yes that's happened to you mm-hmm 36:09 so yeah so they're going to come up with a third reasons to take your children and most of you might understand how 36:16 absurd they can get but you never would have believed it if it happened to you right 36:21 so think about trying to explain this to someone else that you've lost your kids because someone else in your family had 36:28 an illness or somebody who doesn't even live with you drinks and they're afraid they might come over to your house when 36:34 you have your kids so you can't have custody and supervise and Monica brought 36:41 up another example in hers about a Indian woman I think you said that either had her family massacred or they 36:48 all died from it an illness and she lost her children because of that now how 36:53 could you yes that any of this was going to be relevant in your situation you 36:59 can't again that's just their way of saying I'm trying to justify spending your money and make it sound good and go 37:08 okay so so let's say you start telling your friends that this has happened to you do they believe you right they 37:14 either don't believe you or they think you're making it up because nothing like that could ever happen in court is they 37:21 think judges are fair still they haven't been through it so you're spending all of your energy telling your friends 37:28 telling other people telling your family members and then they start avoiding you 37:33 so even family members can't take the concept barrage of that negativity that 37:40 focus on what the courts are doing to you in fact you might even have friends unfriended me on Facebook because they 37:47 said it's all you post it out that's all you talk about is family law family court you know we're tired of it I probably 37:52 friends some friend of me now right because I'm talking about it on my page instead of on my business page but I 37:58 wanted all of you to be able to see it and know that I'm here sometimes Facebook doesn't show everybody everything I'm putting on the 38:05 business page so you don't have people to go to in this and you start relying The big lie 38:12 more and more on those that are costing you money and that's why you're getting loans and that's why family members are giving you money because they're 38:18 thinking my gosh maybe if I pay for some of this for you it'll get resolved and this will stop 38:23 for you because they feel bad they want to help you they just don't know how so if this has happened to you put a 38:29 comment below so guess what you knew I was getting to this the big 38:34 life because our new our new book of breakers it's it's all about lies you're told and in our green book we have a 38:42 whole section on myths that you're told so the big lie what's the big lie that they've sold to you any of you guys know 38:48 what have you bought they made you think you had to be liked by all the people 38:55 your neighbors and you paid for a lot of experts to show up in your case to say how wonderful of a parent you are they 39:02 made you think you had to be a wonderful perfect parent they made you think you couldn't have flaws oh my gosh god 39:09 forbid if you actually do have some anxiety and have to take medication or actually did get so depressed that you 39:16 wanted to take your life they make using or you got injured in war and you have PTSD they make you think that all of 39:22 this means you shouldn't have your children that you can't raise your 39:28 children right so you've learned that you don't have to be like you don't need gals or judges and counselors validating 39:36 you now you know you're gonna be dealer statutes to say you but again our systems teach you how to 39:43 deal with that so you think that you have to have good relationships with 39:50 your relatives because they're gonna use that as one of the factors against you we're telling you you don't you just 39:56 have to know how to present this right you're gonna learn to frame your case differently so what if I told you that 40:03 your rights didn't require you to be lied to Nina it's the state imposing this on you so they can make money off 40:09 of you so they're putting you into that victim state so that you'll overlook the 40:15 rights that protect you from this right your attorneys can try and discourage you from doing anything different than 40:21 the traditional model they're using they're gonna tell you don't bring up anything that any advocates are telling 40:28 you to do that's different than the way they do it they're gonna tell you not to use these steps that I'm going to tell 40:33 you about because they don't require you to spend money on them and their buddies 40:38 instead they empower you and liberate you from letting them play you like a 40:44 slot machine so what'd you learn here you don't have to be like you don't have Bad people become parents 40:50 to be without flaws you don't even have to be a good person we didn't go over that but bad people become parents bad 41:01 people exists in this world criminals get to see their children there there's 41:08 a case that we use wolf child that parent actually burned their child and then got rights back to their child now 41:14 I probably you know I that makes me uncomfortable even but I'm saying that how strong your rights are and I'm not 41:22 saying that people who hurt their child physically should ever ever have their children by the way it doesn't mean I agree with these I'm just telling you 41:29 there are some very bad people that still have rights to their children they 41:34 can own homes they can become parents they get to both they unless they're felons they own weapons again unless 41:41 they're felons or unless they have protective orders on them but the point is is that they get more rights than you 41:49 do and that's very frustrating for you we don't want that to happen to you there are people losing their chilled 41:55 believing then it's their fault believing that they had just gotten better grades worked more or less they 42:01 had bought that other house a little closer to the other parent they just chose another house of the bigger bedrooms maybe if they just hadn't 42:08 hooked up with the other person or maybe if they get married to happen in my situation they get married they'll 42:13 appear more stable and then the judge will approve them you don't know they don't need the judge's approval they 42:20 think this because the court puts these down as factors they use to evaluate 42:25 your rights and your time with your children to decide who's gonna get to keep the children you get a list of You get a list of reasons 42:33 reasons right so when the judge makes those temporary orders or your final 42:38 order you get a list of reasons why the judge decided the other parent would be the primary parent in your child's life 42:46 all right you guys don't even know not to ask for a primary like nobody even has a primary do you so some of you may 42:55 to some of you are advocates so I apologize I'm not putting any of you down but I'm just saying that you may 43:01 not have even known that by asking for primary you were stepping into a very 43:07 abusive process so now you might only be getting every other weekend with your 43:13 child and you're looking at the reasons that they put on there and you're trying to correct those reasons because your 43:18 attorney said just go ahead and you know deal with that they might discourage you from appeal they might say no just go 43:24 ahead and live with that change your life come back and modify right I know some of you have done that some of you 43:30 have believed that you decided well okay it's cheaper and faster for me to modify 43:36 because you can take years right so you 43:41 are put under the false belief that modification is easy it's actually harder than the first time around and 43:47 can be just as expensive it sometimes even more so you think that abuse gets a 43:54 better job with flex more flexible hours or you work more so you have more money 44:00 that and if you dump that boyfriend the ex doesn't like they'll be less 44:06 irritated maybe you can get them into an agreement or maybe they 44:13 just will give you more time with the kids but when when that doesn't happen you become very very distraught right 44:19 because the lie consumes you you end up in a death spiral that kills your career 44:24 and sometimes your life right right and I mean like ending life but it does kill Ending life kills your life 44:30 your life it kills every dream you have because all you're focused on is how do I get this chain because your children 44:36 are the most important people in the world they always say that a parent would take a bullet for time so of 44:43 course they know you're gonna spend money on this you would give your life for that child they know they continue 44:49 to manage of you so you should not feel like this is your fault there are doctors and lawyers corporate 44:56 attorneys there are family law attorneys that are losing their children in this there are people who are just as perfect 45:04 looking as the other parent losing their children in this you can go to a judge and there could be a couple right before 45:14 you where one person is like a mechanic then the other one is like a stripper by 45:19 night restaurant server by day and all of a sudden you know this the the 45:25 stripper gets primary custody of her child and gets more time than you do who 45:31 walked in there who's spent years of studying getting your PhD you could even be a psychologist you go in there your 45:37 ex might be an attorney or maybe they're an anesthesiologist or you know we've seen all kinds of combinations but you 45:44 walk out of there with less time then you saw and I'm not putting down 45:49 strippers or anything like that but I'm just saying you know society judges these careers we put values on these 45:56 careers we put approval system on these careers I complete how to we had a swipe 46:01 on our phone where we can do how many stars we like someone is we passed by if you guys have never seen black mirror by 46:08 the way Netflix go watch that episode where everybody walks around and what they're allowed to 46:15 get in life it's it's their currency is based on how much people like them and 46:21 how many stars they get so you live we walk past them and you swipe you know two stars three stars five stars and if 46:26 your stars fall below a certain level you be you get treated like a criminal 46:32 right like a villain and that's what they're there that's what you feel like 46:37 you feel like oh wait this how did this happen because I made sure I made all kinds of good choices in life yeah I 46:43 have less time or you could have watched somebody who just got out of prison and 46:49 they were given primary of their child so that's very very very hard to take 46:55 and you shouldn't have to take that actually so what happens with all of 47:01 this is your children are just as confused right they don't understand what's going on you might have gag 47:06 orders put on you like Lydia's huh and you don't your children just don't get How long has this been going on 47:12 all of the information to be able to really understand what has happened so 47:18 that stresses you out as well so how long has all this been going on let's discover that real quick or hundreds of 47:25 years actually federal and state governments and give you an example took Native American children from their 47:31 parents and used to place them in institutions or with white families and efforts to get those children to act 47:38 more like white families right so they used to force them to cover up who they were just like they're doing that to you 47:44 so now your parental identity is being affected and your parental authority is 47:50 affected and you're no longer the person who used to be you might not even recognize yourself anymore and our 47:58 lights are gonna go off again so give me one second and stay with us good stop in here okay push those 48:06 buttons this is how family cord is isn't it it just keeps disrupting your life 48:11 trying to make you lose track of where you are it's like the doorbell ringing so so one Native American woman said she 48:20 and her baby sister sat in a tub of bleach to convince themselves they were getting more white 48:27 so they could be liked by their white family so these practices and policies 48:32 they left many of those children psychologically battered the rest of their lives this is what 48:38 they're still doing now it may not be using racism right but they're using 48:46 things like it's your fault that you can't get along with your eggs they want you to agree with your eggs 48:51 well if you have just greed and given in you could have stayed in the marriage or you and been suffocated right some of 49:01 you can't survive that anymore some some of you it's very very abusive to you whether it be emotionally physically or 49:09 whether just violate your values and beliefs of how you want to raise your children maybe you guys departed some at 49:16 some point and decided you want to raise them differently you have the right to do that but the courts aren't letting 49:22 you so it's not your fault that you can't get along with your ex really the The courts are pissed off 49:28 courts are pissed off that you won't give in to them and that you won't agree to go along with what they want to 49:35 create as your recipe for your life and didn't dictate your future to you that's 49:41 what they're pissed off about that's why they keep costing you money they're losing bonuses from federal government 49:48 title 4d if they can't get you to pay child support and and you know then 49:55 they're not paying for all those people that they've built up in that system right two-thirds of the Attorney 50:01 General's office in Texas gets pain because of that title 4d child support program so they've got to create 50:08 artificial situations you might have been perfectly willing to support your children directly have them in your own 50:17 home so they could have two homes but they create an artificial situation so that you have to pay them so they can 50:23 get their bonuses from the federal government if you have just given in so Indian children getting bullied 50:29 don't don't regret not giving in because if you had then you know you might not 50:35 have this opportunity to become who you've always wanted to become you might 50:42 have just stayed in the relationship and continue to live unhappy and feel suffocated like those Indian children 50:48 I have one mom I talked to and she told me that her children started getting 50:55 bullied at school this is when she was still in the marriage this particular mom left the marriage your situation might be different maybe 51:02 the ex filed I knew my her children were getting bullied and she would ask 51:08 herself why aren't they standing up for themselves why are they letting themselves believe until she left her 51:17 situation that was abusive emotionally abusive and it finally dawned on her she 51:24 was like oh my god my children were just copying me they were doing the same 51:30 thing I was doing they were allowing beliefs to believe them because I let 51:37 myself get bullied that was their example in their family in their 51:44 relationships so her leaving actually was healthier for her and her children now she is 51:52 alienated right now and she's working on that because again she doesn't get to communicate with the children while it 51:57 was happening her older children who she does get to communicate with are very supportive of her as will her younger 52:04 children be when she can get that communication through right now they're angry cuz I don't understand why she 52:09 left so the reasoning for them to remove When do you realize your rights 52:14 your children and separate them from their family back then might have been racism yours might be other reasons 52:21 don't listen to any of them you know it's best for you your children in your life and once you realize the state's 52:28 not gonna rush in and protect you you're gonna stop being their victim once you realize your rights are what provide you 52:35 protection and relief from abuse when do you realize your rights protect you from these ongoing escalating costs you'll 52:42 start saving money I'll give you another example of how it feels when you know what to call the problem I didn't know 52:50 what the problem was in my situation I didn't know why my relationships were 52:56 changing with my kids I knew you know I wasn't super close with my older one I loved her I loved her very much 53:02 she always how difficult really you know personality we we kind of cost a little bit but we're great now but they're you 53:10 know my younger ones I was very bonded to super close with and even my 53:16 relationships with them were getting bad and I didn't understand what was happening or why that was nor that phone 53:23 I'm supposed to be done with this so so once you realize what that the name is 53:31 for this and what is happening you'll be so much better off what was happening in my situation was parental alienation and 53:39 once I realized what that was I then knew where to go to get the information 53:45 to get the help that I needed dr. Bowen was one that I hired to teach my attorney now it doesn't mean I had to 53:52 go hire an expert to take over my life right we're all taught that experts know more than we do they wear those suits 53:58 and ties they look nice they have those labels behind their name that doesn't mean they know more than you do in your 54:03 life okay so it helped me plan my strategy by understanding I stopped Plan your strategy 54:10 being dependent on attorneys and I start saving a whole lot of money I stop being dependent on experts and I knew when to 54:17 use them um we're and I managed my situation I spent one hour talking to 54:22 dr. Bowen then bought another hour for him to talk to my lawyer he taught my lawyer what parental 54:28 alienation was we went into our next hearing with the lawyer with having that understanding I didn't bring in a bunch 54:34 of rental animation experts either and I won so this can be done and I was out of 54:40 money too by the way you guys you know so I remember how scary it was the first 54:47 time that I stood up to the judge or I decided to do something different than 54:52 what my attorney wanted me to do and the first time I stood up to my ex's You are worth it 54:58 attorney or had to interact with them I know it's scary but it is so worth it it 55:03 is you are worth it before court started I remember telling my ex's attorney you 55:09 know all these things that I'm telling you that I didn't have to be like I didn't matter what they thought of me I 55:14 could have flaws they weren't I wasn't abusing my children that I'm allowed to have my children I basically let them know I was 55:22 no longer an easy mark so things got harder for them to believe me to abuse 55:29 me and they stopped making money off of me in fact my ex started losing money and so did his attorney because now he 55:35 had to start finally manda misses and appeals on things he got put in jail he 55:41 got Jail orders twice once I figured this out they just weren't able to beat 55:46 me down anymore so funny thing is when you learn how to do this you realize that it was the going along to get along 55:55 that was actually giving them more power and making me more miserable and so they Your foundation is strong 56:02 may be appalled at you and they may you know you try to put more pressure on you for a while but as long as you stick 56:08 with it and you know you're right you're right 79 that sounds like an oxymoron but your rights are right and you're right when 56:14 you use them and once you know this they can't shake you your foundation is strong right now you don't have a 56:20 foundation I said you don't have a business plan you don't know what recipe you're using how can you possibly get 56:26 good results right you can't that's like in business if you don't plan something 56:32 you're not gonna achieve it you don't set a goal you're not going to achieve it so they prefer to work within the 56:40 system and pay them to get my children on my side I do things their way so I would spend more money on their buddies 56:45 and have a codependent relationship with them they want you to start changing your rules parent different so your 56:52 children don't recognize you anymore they want you to do things that are for any use that you're upset all the time 56:58 and you need them and your children your children need counseling you and the children need therapists to calm you all 57:04 down one judge ordered a mother to not speak Spanish in her own home because 57:10 the GAO might not be able to communicate with her child absurd right that's what they do they take over they become the 57:17 parents not you they start requiring you to run to a therapist with every little 57:22 complaint or discomfort your children or your ex has and then they default to those therapists Your children lose authority 57:29 now your children lose that much-needed authority that they had in their life from you and I know you're panicked 57:35 about that you you worry about the happen and tell you my kids lost it for a while it took me about 17 months to 57:42 get my situation in my case turned around and you know what they're fine of course there's effects from it but 57:48 it's not effects that they can't overcome and of course it does define some of their fabric and who they become 57:55 but you can use it to help them get stronger so even if you're not seeing 58:00 them don't give up hope they will come back around eventually I see a lot of 58:06 parents you know say once they become adults they move back in with them even parents who the courts said oh substantiate it you're abusive and all 58:13 of this and they get their kids back because they're not using proper due process to prove any of this so don't 58:19 believe these things unless the proper procedures were used and a conviction 58:24 was made properly don't believe them and you know the more people you teach not 58:29 to believe that the more the easier you'll have as well because you won't feel like you won't feel so bad you 58:35 won't think everybody's thinking horrible about you once they understand this so that's for you advocates teaching others so your children are off 58:44 balance because you've had to change so much about yourself and that's why I'm saying don't change yourself you need to 58:49 be true to yourself the children are acting out and testing their boundaries and throwing fits because of that I have 58:55 my kids tell me mom why are you so different of course I couldn't tell them 59:00 oh because they said judge said I better dress different or the turning saw a better dress different or the judge 59:06 won't like me but one way they said if you're pretty you get treated worse 59:11 especially if you have a female judge who gives jealous that could affect you I had that happen to me in the first one 59:18 so being thin and pretty I remember putting on weight to make sure I didn't 59:23 get judged because of my looks right like if you have a sexy body you know they'll look at you and you might lose 59:31 custody because of that so they try to make you feel guilty see so you don't 59:37 know how to stop being dependent on the courts in them and you start you keep asking for more 59:43 orders and those cost money they order a unification therapy to order co-parenting classes they order just go 59:50 all the way down to what time each of you can call each other and talk to each other or Skype on the phone I mean you 59:57 can't get that phone call what do you do spend more money to get another order to 1:00:03 keep being dependent on the system so do you see how they keep you in that cycle of dependency on spending money on them 1:00:09 to ask for orders that make your life miserable and dysfunctional you start blaming yourself for the stress your 1:00:16 children are going through you start hiring more counselors and experts you get more anxious more urgency sets in to 1:00:22 resolve this conflict sooner to get your children out of this buy scrip and when 1:00:29 really you're the one that's in the grips of the court you've done 1:00:35 everything they told you to do right you took you were told not to involve the children or upset them but get an 1:00:41 attorney to represent the children so that their wishes can be heard and then they involved and then they turn around 1:00:47 involve the children and blame you can you change the hours you worked whenever 1:00:52 that the job you do the house you live in also you can impress these experts and satisfy them and it still didn't 1:00:58 work right so how is that working for any of you did that work for any of you write down in the comments how does that 1:01:05 work I had one parent tell me this week that she thought the courts would just uphold her rights and wouldn't allow the 1:01:12 other parent to ask for anything that violated her right and that they would 1:01:17 go on and be happily divorced right well she didn't realize that this 1:01:24 was done differently until she got her book she said when she got our book she 1:01:29 found out that that was not the case so she started preparing and she's been 1:01:35 getting better results since then another mom got gag orders put on her because she thought the Family Court 1:01:42 process was fair and the judge was gonna follow the wall and hold her and and 1:01:47 uphold their oath right but they didn't she thought her book she read it 1:01:54 she did her own appeal pro se and she prevailed at getting gag orders overturned so we're all taught growing 1:02:02 up to respect authority and and that they know better than leave you we used 1:02:07 to think that about doctors right there was a major shift in my life growing up 1:02:15 and that's when we all started getting taught to manage our own health and to 1:02:21 start suggesting to doctors what we wanted done what we thought was the problem and before that doctors were 1:02:28 like doctors were God right they they were the they had a crystal ball and 1:02:33 they could they were the only ones who could tell us what was wrong with us and and we had to run to them for every 1:02:39 little thing that was wrong to have them fix it for us and then we started learning that we needed to manage 1:02:45 ourselves and our health better because they're not there all the time are they 1:02:50 they don't know us as well as we know ourselves this is the same way so don't let them decide whether your 1:03:00 child should take ballet or martial arts because you will pay them to do that you 1:03:05 will pay them to make those decisions and the reason this is all happening and you're paying those because you stopped 1:03:12 being the expert in your of mind you stopped being the expert in your children's lives you believe that all 1:03:19 these experts were required you weren't told how much they were gonna cost you 1:03:24 weren't told that a gal was going to be able to invade every aspect of your life where you 1:03:30 in fact in Ohio they have a doozy of a gal statute you're not told that they 1:03:37 can make the situations worse you're not told that they can be given the 1:03:44 authority to decide when you get more time with your kids I've one father I'm 1:03:49 working with and you know we usually suggest you use our use some arguments 1:03:56 that we hope you've learned to get rid of the gal and in his situation the gal is actually graduating him up for more 1:04:03 time that's not a position you want to be in but now it's hard to get out of it because you're afraid to get rid of them because 1:04:09 you're afraid you might not get more time so they become the gatekeeper between you and your children they 1:04:15 become very expensive their costs might be completely unlimited you are never told that this gal was actually gonna be 1:04:23 like paying to attorneys if you can hardly afford your attorney now you certainly can't afford to you weren't 1:04:29 told they're going to be at every hearing they're gonna be in every conference they're gonna be involved in every communication and email that you 1:04:36 have that has to do with the court process or any request you mate you will pay them on top of your attorney it 1:04:44 becomes very expensive they become part of the problem so have you had a bad gal 1:04:50 experience type of comment below or just yes let me know but that's happened to 1:04:57 you so in an Ohio I wanted to tell you about that cow statue 1:05:02 you can't deny them anything right they can do and investigate whatever they want they can interview anyone they want 1:05:09 ask for anything they want and you're required to sign releases and sign the 1:05:15 document giving them consent I remember the judge telling me one time go in the other room and agree to child 1:05:21 support with the other parent and I said oh no you can order me to go in the other room but you cannot order me to 1:05:27 consent but yet this statute in Ohio and 1:05:32 I'll tell you what it says it says specifically I've seen an order in a 1:05:38 seselis upon presentation of a copy of this order to any agency hospital 1:05:44 organization school person or office including but not limited to the clerk 1:05:49 of this court human services agencies public Children Services agencies private child placing agencies 1:05:55 pediatricians psychiatrists and list goes on and on and on a guardian ad litem shall be permitted to inspect and 1:06:02 copy any records relating to the children without the consent of the 1:06:08 children or the parent and that the guardian ad litem shall have the 1:06:14 authority to interview the children outside the presence of any counselor 1:06:20 caretaker school official custodian or any individual who has physical custody of 1:06:27 the children without the knowledge or consent of the children's parents 1:06:33 and the galleries are treated like child support so you can't even go bankrupt on 1:06:38 them but you can go to jail when you're not able to pay so think about that for 1:06:45 a minute the judge is going to spend your money any way he chooses the judge 1:06:52 will spend money you don't have and create debts that can put you in jail 1:06:58 nowhere else in life would you be allowed to run up a debt the way the 1:07:03 family courts will run up bills for you and then put you in jail when you can't pay debtors prisons were outlawed long 1:07:10 ago but once you understand this model you realize this you can stop the bleeding that you were lied to about you 1:07:17 know understand they get to ask for these things because they make money on these requests and the more help you 1:07:23 need the more they make you learn how to flip the tables on them where they are paying more and you are not now they'll 1:07:31 have to hire expert to try and counter and justify what they're doing you no longer are the profitable slot machine 1:07:37 you can be played you no longer employ their minions or fund their racket now they have to pay 1:07:44 respond to the violation of your rights mmm I have another mom who said that 1:07:50 when she learned her rights from her book she was able to successfully do her her own appeal pro se there's been a 1:07:56 couple of those mmm a dad did the same also one on one of 1:08:05 them was the children were put in a position to decide when they wanted to see their parent they won on appeal so 1:08:12 once you learn these things you are gonna understand what you need to do and 1:08:20 it will be less scary right you'll have a process in a system we have a plan you 1:08:27 can follow so if you have been 1:08:32 struggling because you don't have a plan or processor in education then type yes down there below that you want to be 1:08:39 able to make this transformation you want this information once you get this information you will never go back to 1:08:46 doing it the other way you'll never go back to letting that abuse you and as Monica said transformation is a one-way 1:08:52 valve and I totally agree mmm when I went through it there was pretty much no 1:08:58 one else out there either she was in the same situation as me pretty much it was family of fathers rights groups right we 1:09:06 we didn't have Google Groups Facebook groups Instagram Twitter we just didn't 1:09:14 have all those groups Google dogs helping available to help us we didn't 1:09:19 have people sharing documents they were humiliated they were embarrassed but we didn't have people even willing to 1:09:24 challenge best interests of the child they were scared to do that that you were afraid that they were going to be 1:09:30 considered like a child abuser oh my god how can you go against what's best for your child they didn't understand what 1:09:37 best interest of the child really was it wasn't until all of us got educated and 1:09:42 started teaching others that this started changing and shifting and as you can see that can't go back either once 1:09:49 you start change in a system that can't that doesn't go back either as long as there are people to continue that 1:09:55 education and fuel that narrative right so of course I've been discouraged not 1:10:03 to do it when I went through you guys will face the same thing parental alienation wasn't even as visible as it 1:10:09 is now either in fact bringing it up was discouraged talking about your case in public was 1:10:15 discouraged and that still is to parents still go to jail for doing this but they get out of jail and they get acquitted 1:10:21 by juries when they do it now so organizing with others used to be punished in the eye you can still get 1:10:27 punished but you are becoming more and more successful aren't you you might get 1:10:34 villainized but you can get that overturned you might get treated like you like your abusive again you'll know 1:10:42 how to fight Exce even experts are speaking out against best interest of the child now 1:10:48 right as being over broad as being undefined right well somebody had to 1:10:54 start teaching about that we started teaching about that in 2013 May of 2013 in our green book not new child's best 1:11:01 interest so you can benefit from that education too don't rely on others to 1:11:06 just feed you parts of the education you get the whole system yourself you get 1:11:12 the information and you use it the way it works for you more information you have the more you'll have to source from 1:11:19 ok so this has changed because of parents just like you you learn their rights and refuse to give in an accept 1:11:25 that slop machine business model this entire business model in these family 1:11:30 courts is a violation of your constitutional rights it's plain and simple once you realize that you know to 1:11:37 get educated on your rights it's liberating it's empowering never going to go back to being a victim again no 1:11:43 matter how much they beat on you or try to punish you you know you have the power to resist all of their lies all of 1:11:50 their character assassinations you know that these were just desperate attempts to get you to stay in the dark so that 1:11:56 they wouldn't have to actually answer to their actions once you start learning rights your health will start to improve 1:12:03 just like mine did when I didn't feel powerless or hopeless anymore I started having more energy I started 1:12:10 feeling like I had a direction again because all the things I used to do before go to school study come 1:12:16 biochemistry run businesses retail business I had all a bunch of my own 1:12:22 businesses I was an entrepreneur business owner all of that got destroyed 1:12:27 I just I felt directionless once I started learning this I had a direction again it filled that void voids are very 1:12:35 dangerous by the way and Ron told me to remind all of you guys or tell all of 1:12:40 you that sometimes you think that you're you being stressed and wanting to get 1:12:46 away from the other person is the same thing that your other that your children might want right so you're thinking if 1:12:52 you have a hard time dealing with that other parent they're going to want to get away from them too but they may actually be missing that other 1:12:58 parents maybe that parent hasn't been able to be as involved and so with your your perspective of that parent is 1:13:08 different because maybe when they may they travel and when they come home they would actually feel like a disruption to 1:13:15 you because they come in and disrupt like all the patterns and planning that you had maybe that's what broke your 1:13:20 marriage up that's a lot of what happened in in mind but you're in so you 1:13:26 think your kids want to continue the same routine when they may not they may be craving the affection and time with 1:13:34 their father the other parent and you're just not realizing that right because 1:13:39 you've been having to manage and control and take care of it everything you think that's the way it's supposed to stay so 1:13:45 you will have a lot of perspective shifts when you're studying this material but it will help you get 1:13:51 through it right so you won't just it won't just be piled on you and then all of a sudden you know you're stressed out 1:13:58 because you don't know what to do with it it will actually help transform you and you will you will start to 1:14:04 understand better what you need to do to help your children and what your 1:14:10 children are feeling and how to make those connections in a way that doesn't 1:14:16 push the morning or drive them away so we help you focus on what will be most 1:14:21 productive right most parents don't find us until after their child is taken and 1:14:27 they're devastated and broken the health is suffering they're depressed and desperate and they've been taken 1:14:33 advantage of by every expert an attorney the court thought they could afford and squeeze every penny out of them so they 1:14:40 came to us when they couldn't afford an attorney anymore they wanted to expunge they wanted their child back a lot of people say how can I 1:14:47 sue my ex how can I sue my ex and we do have some information up there on that but we always tell you focus first 1:14:53 remember you're the buckets of water you've got to come in put out the fires and get your life straight gives you 1:14:59 straight reclaim your parental authority and identity and then you can see if you 1:15:06 still are interested in doing that if you want to focus on that some people don't want any or to do with litigation some people 1:15:13 find that it's you know something that they need to do because maybe they permanently lost their children through 1:15:19 the parental alienation so some of you haven't seen your children for several 1:15:25 years when you get into the courses once you get into these courses and you 1:15:31 realize the rights that weren't protected and go through shock again okay shock and anger at the attorney who 1:15:38 didn't protect you so some of you will say I want to sue my attorney - same same response I just gave you a little 1:15:43 while ago get yourself right get your situation situate or however you need to 1:15:49 do with your life using our plans and systems in education and then again you 1:15:55 can decide what's right for you and what other options you may or may not want to take but the point is by following our 1:16:03 system you will have options you will have choices again right now you may not feel like you have any so we're gonna 1:16:09 help you focus on what will be most productive at the time right it's extremely rare that any parent after 1:16:17 losing their child in the first round get their child back just doing it the traditional way that has been done for 1:16:24 at least the last two generations mmm but you go back to modify with the 1:16:29 belief that if you just prove somehow judge made a mistake choosing the other parent you think the judge is gonna be 1:16:35 more persuaded because of all the things you change your house your job and maybe even got married you think the judge is 1:16:42 gonna see you is more stable now that you've changed all the things to judge what he didn't like in your 1:16:47 order you think you're gonna get your child back and then you get disappointed 1:16:52 again so again you spend money with the experts to get the judge to like you and the cycle starts all over again it's a 1:16:59 mad business cycle you believe you have to be like to have your child again so you're going to spend more money to 1:17:04 validate who you are as a person as a parent and that's what you did the first time but you do it again because you 1:17:13 don't know of a better way we get positioned into that victim state and we're no longer the expert of our own 1:17:19 children the expert of our own lives our lives are being taken over by outside source 1:17:24 somebody here knows they said this this is a quote I'm sorry I should have 1:17:29 started off as the quote but so one of the moms that has been following our materials in our education for at least 1:17:36 five years now said we get positioned into the victim state we're no longer the expert of our children we no longer 1:17:43 are the expert of our own lives our lives were being taken over by outside sources we have no control over so very 1:17:51 true that's stated by Monica shamanic and where did she start her journey she 1:17:58 started a lot of her journey with us a long time ago she she was doing some 1:18:04 research before that but I think her journey really turned around when she found our stuff and now that she's been 1:18:10 able to build her life back up she has two beautiful additional children and a 1:18:15 husband and she's the founder of moms unshackled so what have what you have 1:18:21 been doing hasn't been working for you and you've decided that quote that 1:18:27 victim identity is no longer serving you the system that we have developed will 1:18:32 help you fight to take back your identity and be that strong parent you can be that parent just like Monica who 1:18:40 says that victim identities no longer serving me and I'm now gonna take back my identity and be a strong parent I'm 1:18:47 making my position known I'm repositioning myself as a strong parent 1:18:52 in my own life I am the expert of my own life I am the expert of my children's 1:18:58 lives she can help you build up that courage to use our system if you're not quite there yet but if you are already 1:19:05 there and you've made these realizations and you just need the education in the plan now then welcome some moms and some 1:19:12 dads have to leave their spouse because they're suffering and we went over that and so we're gonna help you no matter 1:19:19 where you're at in the process to follow the system and plans that we have developed where you get to decide the 1:19:27 recipe that works for you where you get to learn to adapt to fit your needs and have a more effective result 1:19:35 understanding what is happening understanding the family court process puts you in the driver's seat puts you 1:19:41 in the right mindset needed for standing up for your rights in the family court our system helped you fight more 1:19:48 effectively for your children if you're being treated like second-class citizen or you want to prevent it and don't want 1:19:54 to become one of those 22 million parents being erased and alienated from their true identity and from their 1:20:00 children's lives you're in the right place if you've already been made non-primary in scuze me or our joint but 1:20:10 it only means joint on paper and you're 1:20:15 still being abused by the other parent and the orders are making it worse you've joined of the over 22 million 1:20:22 adults who are oppressed even in every oppressed people have needed a plan a 1:20:28 system and an education for things to change Thomas Paine educated the masses with one little pamphlet people learned 1:20:35 how to impeach the king and remove him from being the decision-maker in their lives they used education and then they 1:20:42 created the Declaration of Independence to do it and that's what we provide for you so what's in our system mmm figuring 1:20:50 out your ingredients and what recipes are available to you courses that teach you how to organize make sense of the 1:20:56 confusion calm the chaos use your rights to restore your parental identity parental authority your right to be your 1:21:03 own expert webinars to give you plans and steps workbooks and guides that help 1:21:09 you teach your attorney and teach others to do the same for themselves part of our system is teaching you how to 1:21:14 organize your case so you can continue to live the life of your choosing you 1:21:20 will learn how to manage both the skills you learn in our system you can carry into other areas of your life as well 1:21:26 your business your practice your counselor employer psychologist your 1:21:32 everyday family life the other part of our system is learning that you have 1:21:41 rights and how they work how you protect how you 1:21:47 that you get to choose what kind of relationships you want to have with the other parent not the judge how you 1:21:54 protect your choices not to compare it but two parallel parent how to protect that you get to choose what is best for 1:22:00 your child not a gal not a counselor not the judge and did you get to choose how 1:22:06 you spend your money not be forced to give it away to the other parent or other experts not of your choosing 1:22:12 then you also learn how to manage power and abuse of power you learn strategies 1:22:17 and plans that are designed to help you stop being abused learn how to craft orders that are liveable how to maximize 1:22:24 your use of mediation overcome objections what works what doesn't work appeal arguments and more our courses 1:22:33 teach you how to be effective and accomplish your goals so you can live free and live your dreams again you'll 1:22:39 realize that you're the expert of your life and your case you choose what kind of relationship you want or don't want 1:22:45 to have with the other parent you choose how you want to raise your child you 1:22:50 choose how do you spend your money your current identity will be restored and 1:22:56 you can be you and not fear the punishments for it this journey starts 1:23:01 with all of you the individual who's going through this right now the success 1:23:06 of all of this starts with you one of our students said that as soon as she learned how the Family Court 1:23:12 business model works she immediately started to heal she stopped dumping thousands of dollars into the system and 1:23:18 became her own expert you guessed it that was Monica this all started with 1:23:25 our system she was able to stand up to the courtroom bullies become healthier and fight more effectively once she 1:23:31 learned about the rights that she had and had the right tools to use them once 1:23:38 she learned that it was okay to be her civil and that they they were wrong not 1:23:43 her she was able to take that first step so all of the ladies that I've mentioned 1:23:49 and the father's that have mentioned in these examples learned that they are their own expert and they all learned 1:23:56 that they didn't have to be liked and spend all this money to be hurting for 1:24:02 we hope that you will be the next parent to become the next expert to take these 1:24:08 steps so click below I'm going to put the link at the end of this slide to 1:24:13 start empowering yourself and learn how to use your rights today you'll see the first step on there down below or above 1:24:20 the live I'll probably added in the I'll add it to the where the title is click 1:24:26 there if you want to learn how to restore your parental identity while you learn how to navigate family law pro se 1:24:33 like a pro so whether you're a parent just want you to be more effective or an advocate who's helping other parents and 1:24:39 want to keep your message uniform this is where you want to start thanks for joining me and I'm gonna look just real 1:24:45 quick because we've been out of time a long time ago just to see what you guys have commented or if you have questions 1:24:52 here yeah and somebody mentioned that sometimes when you go get trial dates 1:24:58 they're 9 to 12 months out so if you're paying a lot of money to maintain two 1:25:04 households that can be pretty devastating and drive you into bankruptcy right there so you're gonna 1:25:11 have to know how to get through this process quickly we have steps for doing that as well yep and somebody confirmed 1:25:20 that they're their sons teenage boys and stepchildren became targets in this 1:25:26 process it's really sad I mean you can your step children's lives can be destroyed along with yours your your 1:25:33 parents the grandparents lives can be destroyed then they get falsely accused of sexual abuse sexual abuse is one of 1:25:39 those things it's it's just no matter how you look at it it's a long process 1:25:44 and it's devastating even when you're innocent it's just devastating and you 1:25:50 have to spend a lot of money to defend sandy says she's been three years in appeal without a ruling so as you can 1:25:58 see you guys this information is valuable and it's needed for all of you 1:26:05 to be able to start changing this process right this this isn't going to 1:26:11 change on its own we know that it's been going on for generations if it changed just by being likable I 1:26:19 love this example Monica Monica is great for brilliant with coming up with 1:26:24 analogies and helping people connect write connect these ideas and one of 1:26:32 them was that if if all it took was all of us being liked it'd be solved by now 1:26:40 right because we can all go fake it like 1:26:45 she said we've done it for job interviews we've done it for other things in her life and I'm gonna have to 1:26:51 go so they're kicking us out of the room here so thank you you guys for joining 1:26:56 us and like I said it's not about being like don't don't let your attorney make 1:27:02 you believe that and click on the link above and let's get started let's get started right away on turning your 1:27:08 situation around and like when you reclaim your authority in your life thanks bye