Q&A webinar #3 partial

0:27 you 0:36 okay if you guys can start posting any 0:39 questions that you have if you don't 0:41 then I'm going to get to some of the 0:45 questions that we have in the email to 0:47 get us started okay and try to make your 0:51 questions somewhat specific give me a 0:56 single question at a time so that we can 0:58 address that if you do make it compound 1:00 I might break it break it down and last 1:02 week if you guys were here we covered a 1:05 lot of good material we got into a 1:08 doctrine that I remembered later was 1:12 called the clean hands doctrine and we 1:15 were talking about situations where 1:18 parents create conditions or a parent 1:21 might create a condition during the 1:24 pendency of your lawsuit whether it be 1:27 just divorce child custody whatever it 1:30 is that you guys are litigating over and 1:32 they'll create conditions to 1:35 disadvantage you they've been using that 1:38 doctrine for a long long time in 1:40 contract law they tend to not use 1:44 anything that they can avoid in family 1:46 law as most of you know but get familiar 1:49 with that I just posted it on my blog 1:53 there's lots and lots of cases that use 1:56 it get familiar with it and talk to your 2:01 lawyer to see if maybe they they can 2:03 integrate some arguments to get the 2:06 judge to rule on whether or not they're 2:08 going to allow conditions that were 2:10 created during the pendency of the suit 2:12 because that's not really an accurate 2:14 picture of what's going on right and I 2:17 don't mean accurate picture as in do 2:19 they know your life do they know 2:21 everything about it everything about 2:22 child's life what I'm talking about is 2:24 an accurate picture of whether or not a 2:27 parent is a danger or unfit for a child 2:31 so you know they're creating 2:34 inflammatory conditions they're 2:36 stressing you out they're making you 2:38 worried some of them are even taking off 2:42 with your children closing bank accounts 2:44 so naturally you're going to be 2:46 responding to those things I know some 2:49 you probably regret some of the 2:51 responses that you have but either way 2:53 it's human and so there's a lot of 2:56 dialogue around that but you want to 2:58 make sure that's out there and upfront 3:00 and that you address that so we did talk 3:03 a little bit about that last Thursday we 3:05 talked about that being one of the 3:06 elephants in the room that if you don't 3:08 address that elephant in the room let me 3:11 get that blog post for you if you don't 3:13 address it they're gonna use it against 3:15 you and then maybe you're not gonna get 3:17 an opportunity to address it because at 3:19 some point in time that judges made up 3:22 their mind haven't they and then they 3:23 don't let you talk anymore so you need 3:26 to get it out there as soon as possible 3:29 if nothing else to put it on the record 3:32 there's something else that I want to 3:34 address before we get started in your 3:36 questions let me give you the blog link 3:38 so you guys can all go there and get 3:41 that clean hands doctoring quote that I 3:44 just posted right before I started the 3:46 webinar it's really important I think 3:50 it's it's a very simple way of looking 3:54 at the clean hands doctrine I think 3:56 you'll be able to understand how it 3:59 maybe relates to you even though it's 4:02 not a divorce or child custody case that 4:04 I got it from okay so you guys don't 4:08 have to go there now and look at it but 4:10 I'm going to tell you the name of it it 4:12 is brown versus lead Minnesota Court of 4:17 Appeals 2015 so it's not it's not a 4:21 Supreme Court case from the United 4:23 States Supreme Court and if you're not 4:24 in Minnesota and you're not in that 4:26 appellate court it's not going to be 4:28 controlling for you but again what 4:31 you're trying to do is understand some 4:33 of these concepts so that you start 4:36 making better choices and better 4:38 decisions with your lawyer and in the 4:41 court itself so if you don't have a 4:43 lawyer understanding the way they might 4:46 look at something or think about 4:48 something will help you get the result 4:51 that you want because you will learn how 4:53 to communicate to the court in a way 4:57 that they can take appropriate action 5:00 okay doesn't mean they will and 5:03 the other thing that I wanted to address 5:04 with you was right before I came into 5:07 this webinar I was getting some emails I 5:08 won't mention any names and I see your 5:11 question there Steve oh I'll get to that 5:13 I won't mention any names but you know 5:16 when someone emails me and says I talked 5:20 to a parent and they said they used your 5:23 methods and they didn't work no method 5:26 always works all the time 5:28 the methods that we teach by the way are 5:32 not just any method it's not just 5:36 materials that we created what we are 5:39 teaching is the foundation of your 5:42 rights and the protection of those 5:45 rights so when somebody says that it 5:49 didn't work what does that mean exactly 5:52 and in this particular case it means the 5:56 judge didn't side with them we tell 5:58 everybody all the time that just because 6:01 you go in there and you show the judge 6:03 you learned your rights does not mean 6:06 the judge is going to agree with you 6:08 does that mean that you don't present 6:12 your rights does that mean you don't 6:13 tell them did you want them to apply the 6:16 proper law to your case no of course it 6:19 doesn't so keep in mind that you're 6:25 dealing with a lot of frustrated people 6:27 you are also dealing and I mean out 6:30 there you're wherever you're surfing 6:33 Google Facebook people your parents your 6:36 calling you're dealing with a lot of 6:39 frustration you're dealing with a lot of 6:40 hurt a lot of anger and a lot of 6:44 desperation and everybody wants that 6:46 magic bullet right everybody wants to be 6:49 able to say I found the one thing that 6:51 works every time if that was the case 6:55 none of you would be here right now or 6:58 at least not very many of you right I 7:00 mean there's always those few that are 7:01 not in touch third or didn't hear about 7:04 something and they find out about it 7:07 later down the road I mean heck we still 7:09 have we still have lots and lots of 7:12 self-help books that have been selling 7:13 for generations so what 7:17 I'm saying is there's lots of different 7:18 reasons somebody may feel that something 7:21 doesn't work and the other thing is a 7:23 lot of parents when they come to us if 7:27 they're already at the end of their case 7:30 which was the case in this particular 7:32 one and you're in a final it's very very 7:37 hard to get that turned around to change 7:40 the momentum in a final you're gonna 7:43 have a lot more luck if you start using 7:45 this earlier on but again does that mean 7:49 that you don't protect your rights and 7:52 preserve them on the record I hope not 7:55 because if you don't use them you're not 7:57 going to be able to raise that on appeal 7:59 you will not be able to challenge that 8:01 judge so hopefully now nobody in this 8:04 group has a misunderstanding about what 8:08 it is we're talking about 8:10 we are not guaranteeing that you're 8:13 gonna get your way when you use these 8:15 methods we are saying that when you 8:18 start applying these materials and 8:22 making different decisions you will 8:25 start getting some different results and 8:27 most the time there are positive results 8:30 not always in the court that sometimes 8:32 outside the court sometimes with some of 8:35 your negotiations with the other parents 8:37 sometimes that changes sometimes it 8:39 changes the way you look at things the 8:41 way you handle these and again in that 8:43 particular case where this parent claims 8:47 the other parent says the material 8:49 didn't work we're still applying that 8:51 material we're still working with that 8:52 parent and there's a lot more to the 8:57 methods that we use when we hope you 8:59 integrate this stuff into your life we 9:01 also help you change a lot of other 9:04 things about your life and again that's 9:06 that's how you deal with that other 9:08 parent the kind of decisions you were 9:10 making regarding the communications 9:12 without other parents so there's a lot 9:14 of success that we're having in that 9:16 area as well so I wouldn't look at that 9:18 person's situation as it didn't work and 9:21 when you start to get negative like that 9:24 you are basically closing your own doors 9:26 you will cause yourself to fail 9:31 and not have any other avenue or outlet 9:33 so I hope that none of you do that and 9:34 if you do come to me I'll maybe you know 9:37 I don't want to say kick you around a 9:39 little bit but if you kick me around I'm 9:42 gonna show you if it's accurate then you 9:46 know I'll say okay yeah you know maybe 9:48 that didn't work if this didn't work but 9:50 in this particular case I don't see 9:52 anything that didn't work I just see 9:55 situations where sometimes you don't get 9:58 a judge that agrees with you okay so if 10:02 we got that settled let me go on to our 10:04 first question and Steve you're saying 10:08 that your ex is wealthy and has 10:10 succeeded in alienating you from your 10:12 four kids and the family law system 10:14 supports her that sounds familiar 10:17 the ex has BPD which if any of you are 10:21 not familiar with that that's bipolar 10:23 disorder and is abusive to the children 10:26 okay so what is your question Steve 10:30 okay so put a question out there David 10:33 asked a quote and I'll get back to you 10:36 when you ask a question and just that's 10:37 the foundation of where he's starting 10:39 from so David asks in trial how can you 10:42 get your evidence presented in court 10:43 well David I'm glad you asked that 10:46 question 10:46 we are not lawyers but we do help well 10:50 what we do is we present information 10:54 that we read that we've come across out 10:56 of some of the law books that we have so 10:58 we just share it with you or some Mets 11:00 you know some things that we might have 11:02 done when we were going through it so I 11:04 have blog post David if you type in the 11:08 word evidence on the blog post it will 11:11 pull up every article that we've written 11:13 on that and in fact I went into great 11:15 detail on some of those so go to the WWF 11:19 X family courts com blog and I'll post 11:22 the link up here and get back to the 11:28 right page it's quite hot in here I have 11:33 a broken air conditioner so you have to 11:35 forgive me if I start getting flush okay 11:40 here's the blog 11:43 go to that page David and anyone else if 11:46 you want to look at that real quick 11:48 because this is real this is a really 11:50 really valuable tool you go to that link 11:54 go to the right side of the top of the 11:57 page where it says winning child custody 12:00 strategies go below that box it's a 12:03 purple box there's a there's a yellow 12:06 button that says opt-in to win go below 12:09 that you'll see a looking glass and a bar 12:14 type in the word evidence and hit return 12:20 mine's going really slow and there you 12:23 go 12:23 as soon as you do that you're gonna see 12:26 posts that say daily tools storing and 12:29 sharing your evidence just got easier 12:30 then go to the next one entering 12:33 evidence hearsay exception the next one 12:36 the four steps for entering your 12:37 evidence the next one remedy for 12:39 removing judicial immunity next when 12:42 what happens after the final trial being 12:44 left in limbo without a final order sign 12:46 so David let's go to the one that says 12:48 the four steps for entering your 12:50 evidence and I'm just going to copy the 12:53 link for you guys because you can spend 12:55 your time going through that David and 12:57 then if you have additional questions 12:58 you can certainly send those to me 13:01 through email so here's the post on that 13:04 one David I hope that gives you what you 13:06 want and let's see make sure I didn't 13:14 miss any questions up here okay alright 13:19 so Steve you still have a posted your 13:21 question I'm not sure what you're asking 13:25 on that about the your ex has alienated 13:29 you you're saying she has a bipolar 13:32 disorder abusive to the children I can 13:34 tell you that we did discuss some topics 13:38 regarding you know when parents when 13:41 parents feel that the other parent is 13:43 abusive to the children and they go in 13:46 and they try to prove that to the courts 13:48 and then the court doesn't the court 13:53 doesn't do anything about it I see that 13:56 happen 13:56 a lot and the way that I understand it 14:00 is for the most part I hear about the 14:04 parent complaining about abuse to the 14:07 children or making the allegations 14:09 excuse me lose the children and then the 14:12 children the children end up with a 14:14 parent that that other parent felt or 14:18 knew was abusive right and again my 14:23 understanding of it and from our 14:25 perspective for what we do is that from 14:28 a constitutional perspective our 14:30 observation is could just be simply 14:33 biases and they just acted on that when 14:35 you're making allegations that someone's 14:38 abusive to children from every state 14:40 I've checked in child abuse is illegal 14:42 it's a crime so let's say you've made 14:47 those allegations you did not prove it 14:50 to that level and the other parent then 14:53 counters and starts making claims about 14:57 you or complaints that you're 15:00 interfering with their ability to spend 15:02 time with the children to have a good 15:03 relationship and those kinds of things 15:05 and the judge sides with them they might 15:09 be using preponderance of the evidence 15:10 which is a lowered standard so it's not 15:12 right it's not just at all it's getting 15:15 really bad results which is why we also 15:18 have posts on that talking about raise 15:21 the standard raise the due process that 15:25 you're using ask for it in your motion 15:27 so when you file a motion to be heard on 15:30 your claims asks for strict scrutiny to 15:33 be used as for clear and convincing 15:34 evidence and then make sure did you have 15:37 evidence to meet that standard but ask 15:40 for it to be used so they don't lower it 15:42 on you that's what I think is hurting 15:44 most parents 16:21 you